Coroner’s Corner
The Joy of Inter-personal Mayhem
by John Bikowski
It seems that every day the market is flooded with newly reasserted DVDs of films from the past. I would normally say “Sweet!” But upon sifting through many of the titles, I find myself saying “Who the hell would want to watch this film again??!” I’ll bet they’re just lining up all over to score a copy of Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator (thanks to Troma).
Thankfully, some companies, like Elite Entertainment, Image, and Anchor Bay, actually care about what they sell. There are also some smaller subsidiary outfits that have managed to get ahold of some serious classics. Case in point is a new Canadian distributor called VSC. On their Critical Mass label they recently cleaned up one of my all time favorites, Black Christmas.
The Black Christmas DVD features interactive menus with scene indexes and cast bios. Also included is a very unnerving trailer that actually does the film justice. I want to thank VSC, not only for releasing the film, but for doing it up right. I was able to compare the long out-of-print video release to the DVD and noticed marked improvements. Gone are the faded colors. Gone are the sound spikes in the soundtrack. Gone are the “Is the TV still on??” night shots. What you get is a well-done digital remaster of a long-ignored groundbreaker.
When you watch this film, remember that it predated seminal slashers like Halloween and Friday the 13th. Also keep in mind that this shocker was directed by Bob Clark, who also did Porky’s and A Christmas Story (you’ll shoot your eye out, kid!). The story begins with POV shots of someone sneaking into the attic of a sorority house attended to by the likes of Margot Kidder (drunken slut) and Olivia Hussey (respectable cutie). Most of the girls are leaving for the holidays, but a small group has remained to become murder victims for our viewing pleasure. Olivia has a nutcase boyfriend (Keir Dullea) who has knocked her up and is flunking out of school. John Saxon is the cop who thinks the impregnator may also be the one responsible for the town’s disappearing girls. Meanwhile, the house keeps getting calls from some really screwed up fella who screams in many voices (The infamous “C” word gets tossed out several times in one obscene call. Now you know this film won’t pull any punches). Black Christmas succeeds in creating thick tension with creepy voices and nursery rhymes from the killer as well as genuine scares induced by skillful misdirection. Throw in an ending that doesn’t let the viewer off the meathook they’ve been squirming on and you have a time-worn classic guaranteed to ruin your Christmas.
Opera is not an easy film to swallow for the casual viewer. If you enjoyed Suspiria and are looking for more of the same, you may not be pleased. Opera is the type of film that needs to be savored and visited on several occasions for it to cast its spell on you. Not that Argento’s usual hooks are not here: Mind-bending violence, sweeping musical scores, dizzying camera work, etc. They are, but the film has a very European flavor. The actors say and do things that seem very bizarre to most Americans. Therefore, the film leaves you with an overall feeling that’s quite strange.
It seems that Betty has an obsessed fan stalking her and killing for her. The psychopath has chosen Betty because he used to play similar “games” with her mother years ago. The tension builds as the corpses pile up and the director of the play has an ingenious breakthough in the investigation. At one point, the killer savages several ravens that are part of the show. The hunch is that the birds would remember the killer and find him out in the audience. The pissed off blackbirds point the butcher out by graphically pecking out one of his eyeballs. Then all hell breaks loose on the way to a twist ending. Opera has so many unique scenes and qualities that it would be tough to list them all. Some of these include: A bird regurgitating an eye, blistering heavy metal riffs over massacre scenes, an impromptu tracheotomy to retrieve a locket, and shots of the killer’s brain as it misfires in a state of schizophrenia. To top things off, you’ll also find one of the best murder set pieces I have ever seen. It involves a long eyehole, a slo-mo bullet, an eye, a phone, and impeccable timing on the part of Argento.
Spinell plays Frank Zito, a New Yorker haunted by abuse from his younger days. He likes to bring home mannequins to sleep with and fondle. Unfortunately for everyone else in New York, he also likes to adorn his plastic lovers with the scalps and torn clothing from beautiful women he has eviscerated. As Frank becomes increasingly manic, he kills more and more often, stopping his spree occasionally for his love interest. For some unknown reason, the extremely hot former Bond-girl Caroline Munro enjoys spending some time with the fat, slobbering psycho. I met her a couple of times and, despite being my Mother’s age, she is still hot (and I think she wants me). Anyhow, Frank spirals out of control and is eventually torn to bloody shreds by his mannequins. That’s right… Despite being an involving character study, the real reason for this film is the gore. Jugulars are splayed open, skulls are scalped in up-close detail, a bayonet is slowly pushed through a chest, a girl is stabbed and humped to death, a head is shotgun-blasted to chunky oblivion, a maggot-infested mother zombie gropes from her grave, and much more. A full scale ten on the puke-o-meter.