Horror Pops
Hell Yeah (Hellcat)
By Grady Gadbow
I hadn’t chewed any actual bubblegum in a long time, so I went down and ripped some off from the Plaid Pantry. It’s sweet sticky stuff, and sometimes there’s goop in the middle. It’s good and all, but the flavor goes out of it pretty fast, and after thirteen pieces, I’d had about enough. If you like bubblegum, more power to ya. Me, I’d rather have a chili dog, or some Jiffy Pop, or a dizzy spell.
In the not too distant future, I suspect the Horror Pops will have their own TV advertisement in which cartoon action merchandising figurines line up and sound off: “Ska! Rockabilly! Surf! Pop! Collect all four! Accessories sold separately batteries not included, not to be taken internally. In studies, side effects were similar to bubble gum.”
(2798 Sunset Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90026)