White Man’s Burden

(Atlantic)
by Chris Adams

White man’s burden, huh? No fucking shit. When I listened to this piece of pasteurized kak, I felt like I was carrying an infinitely massive bagful of the dregs of pop culture on my trembling back. Blues Traveler, the Dave Matthews Band, Cracker, and Bush all did their best to sterilize my soul. Ironically, it was a group fronted by a black man that finally convinced me that life was officially no longer worth living, proving that, in fact, this burden is meant to offend astute listeners of any race. Yea, brethren, you know of whom I speak: The dreaded Hootie and the Blowfish and their banal brand of good-timey frat-crap. Steal every copy of this dung-disc that you can find and ritually burn them until no more exist. There’s no reason we have to put up with this shit. Life’s too damn short.