Metalsucks – Review

May 26, 2011

Your metal IQ will go up after a few weeks of regular usage. For every post about reunion tour plans, there will be 10 posts about bands you’ve never heard of.

Lambgoat – Review

May 24, 2011

The attractive, super-minimalist design belies the fact that the site houses all manner of dark entries from the world of metal, hardcore, and extreme sounds.

LaLa – Review

February 1, 2010

Used to be that if you wanted to make a half Basement Jaxx, half Cannibal Corpse playlist, you had to pay to make that freakish vision a reality. No more…

The Museum of Bad Art – Review

May 11, 2007

Once upon a time, the dividing lines between “good” and “bad” were clearer, and reveling in “bad” art was a pretty amusing thing.

Playdeadpics – Review

May 4, 2007

Random picture of people pretending they died in an accident. Like failing down stairs or having an amp fall on them (called “Mesa Boogie’d,” ha ha).

Uncyclopedia – Review

April 27, 2007

“You just won’t believe how vastly hugely mindboggingly big it is. You may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist, but that’s just peanuts to this.”

Kibo – Review

April 13, 2007

For 15 years, Kibo hosted a Usenet group to expound on physics, mathematics, and British sitcoms. Al Gore had to ask his permission to invent the Internet.

Daily Afflictions – Review

March 30, 2007

Andrew Boyd is an endlessly fascinating fellow. He’s an author, political activist, and culture-jamming cyber monk.

The James Randi Educational Foundation – Review

June 1, 2006

So, the site… An assortment of constantly-updated anecdotes, moments of clarity, and other pragmatic outlooks, it’s not necessarily a fascinating read as a one-time stop. However, if one is intrigued by the culture of debunking, then the site rewards continued visits.

Cute Overload – Review

June 1, 2006

Essentially a site in the “Hot or Not” mold, Cute Overload sets you up with two pictures, usually of someone’s dog, kitten, rabbit, or whatever pet didn’t run away from the camera before the shutter went off (read: no people). You are then asked to vote, and the next page gives you the tally of the voting, along with a new cage match… er…

Pants on Head – Review

April 28, 2006

Count the number of times you ask yourself what the hell these people were thinking. The site hasn’t been updated in six months or more, but if you have more than a casual interest in seeing 100 or so photos of people with underpants on their heads, there are probably more active sites out there. And support groups.

Superdickery – Review

April 28, 2006

There are all sorts of galleries, based on different themes. The best of these is “Seduction of the Innocent.” Because slang is a fickle beast. What is a simple, innocent comment one era becomes unintentional porn the next. And if an entire page of panels with Joker talking about pulling Batman’s boner doesn’t, uh, get you off, then you have no funny bone.

Sugar Bush Squirrel – Review

April 28, 2006

Sugar Bush Squirrel is, like many unfortunate domesticated animals, regularly dressed up in “cute” costumes and photographed. OK. Animals know no shame (I hope), so no big deal. I am 100% convinced that this photographer has the purest motivations, and it’s not like any decent human being is going to argue with feeling sympathy for the mothers of those killed in Iraq. But there’s something intangible, something just plain unsettling about the thoroughness with which these photographs are laid out.

Sodaplay – Review

April 28, 2006

Sodaplay is damn near impossible to describe accurately without bringing SOME kind of altered state into play. Basically, it’s a Java program that allows you to mess with geometric concepts in a perpetual motion/altered gravity format. It’s exactly the kind of thing people like us giggled at when we were watching reruns of NOVA on PBS in college.

Skinema – Review

April 28, 2006

“As a dermatologist and a film buff, I’ve found a series of skin conditions featured in movies. You may look at movies in a new way.” Yeah, maybe. OK, it sounds ridiculous, but it has a borderline cheesy sense of humor that I can’t help liking. (“What evil lurks in the hearts of men with pale skin and no hair? We’re not sure, but it seems to be a syndrome: Albinopecia!”)

Shaye Saint John – Review

April 28, 2006

The idea/story/mythos behind Shaye Saint John is that she was a hot woman who was horribly disfigured in a car accident. As a result, she appears in public wearing this weird-ass, creepy as fuck mask, and hobbles along with clunky prosthetic legs and hands. Her mind appears to have sustained a bit of damage as well, as the numerous short films, bits of wisdom, and assorted clickables on her website can attest.

Heidi’s Dreamhouse – Review

April 28, 2006

Heidilynn is a completely out AB (adult baby). He lives, eats, sleeps, and craps as an AB. For all the faux-rebellious bullshit that passes as “real” or “dangerous,” Heidilynn is the real deal. All you wannabe GG Allins can go pound sand: THIS is hardcore.

Eat Hufu – Review

April 28, 2006

“Hufu is designed to resemble, as humanly possible (sic), the taste and texture of human flesh. If you’ve never had human flesh before, think of the taste and texture of beef, except a little sweeter in taste and a little softer in texture. Contrary to popular belief, people do not taste like pork or chicken.”

Xanthe – Review

March 15, 2006

I like The X-Files. I also like Mitch Pileggi, the guy who plays Skinner, Mulder and Skully’s boss on the show. I hadn’t really thought too much about him, though. Apparently, someone out there has been taking up my slack. The site is enormous, so I can’t pretend to give a complete view of the craziness going on, but before visiting Xanthe’s site, I was completely unaware that there was enough interest in X-Files footage set to music to warrant its own webring community.

Tokyo Plastic – Review

March 15, 2006

Yes, these animations exist to sell toy versions of the characters, but the sales pitch is more implied than in your face, so you can browse the site without fear of annoyance. It also creates kind of its own little world, one where it makes perfect sense for the Japanese flag to eat some funky dog creature while it sits in a chair with a built-in subwoofer.

Liveplasma – Review

March 15, 2006

Basically, a search engine that interprets connections between movies and music. It’s pretty simple: Type in a movie, actor, director, or band, and boom. You get a funky-looking, interconnected web/map of things that might similarly float your boat. Like all things that attempt to have a machine simulate human thought, it comes up with some pretty bizarre connections.

Polezilla – Review

June 13, 2005

Other cultures are fun to make fun of, especially if you do it behind their backs. They paint buildings purple. They have random sculptures in the middle of parks with no explanation. They have billboards and slogans and products and store names that seem funny to us. Hell, America must look pretty funny to outsiders, but thinking Americans think American mainstream is a joke anyway, and non-thinking Americans, well, they’ll beat you up or blow up small chunks of your country if you tease them, so watch yourself.

Man Faye Gallery – Review

June 13, 2005

Faye is a popular character in something called “cosplay,” a vaguely adult undertaking involving hot women dressing up for roleplay. Alas, as you may be able to ascertain from the title, this activity is no longer limited to women. Faye wears skimpy clothes, and this guy is no stranger to cheeseburgers. He sorta looks like the Afghan Whigs’ Greg Dulli, if Greg Dulli were very, very gay. And liked to dress up as a Japanese schoolgirl. And had no shame. Or, apparently, access to Nair.

Gizoogle – Review

June 13, 2005

This thugged-out version of the infamous Google search engine finds sites for you and translates a chunk of the content into thug language “Fo all you beotches who wanna find shiznat.” To sum it all up, “Lollipop. It’s your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. Online n printed rizzle magazine www.lollipizzle. Planeta Crazy Ass Nigga, ya feel me? Excellent online music resource cracka…”

Ebaum’s World – Review

June 13, 2005

If it sez “One of the most annoying things I’ve ever seen,” I’ll click it. I won’t return my parent’s phone calls, but I’ll replay “Tequilla” played by a rabbit, a lion, and an ape. Go figure. This site gets more traffic than, perhaps because it’s dumb and a waste of time, but it’s meant to be.

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