Richard Bone
X Considers Y (Quirkworks Laboratory)
by Chris Adams
My relationship with X Considers Y: A solo operetta in seven parts (to be sung with the crushing agony of a man recalling every last detail of a Wang Chung b-sides collection):
(curtain rises)
1. Hey, this guy’s voice sounds just like David J. from Bauhaus/Tones on Tail/Love and Rockets!
2. Wow, this guy is just as pretentious as David J. from Bauhaus/Tones on Tail/Love and Rockets!
3. Y’know what? This guy’s songwriting talent is nowhere near that of David J. from Bauhaus/Tones On Tail/Love and Rockets! (costume change)
4. Nice sense of melody. Too bad the only instrument on the record is a dated, cheesy-sounding synthesizer!
5. “The sun is not just a little bit hot/am I not a man who’s about to be forgot?” Hey, wait a minute, those aren’t lyrics! Those are shit!
6. Dick Bone? You gotta be kidding me.
7. Cash or credit? I’ll take the cash, thanks.
(curtain fall)
Wild applause and frenzied panty-tossing ensues.