The Cretins

I Feel Better Already (Melted)
by Mark Phinney

There were so many things that I wanted to say to so many girls as I tripped up my way through high school, but I was too clumsy and scared. As time went on, those petty crushes turned to feelings of revenge. High School was a time of drifting thoughts, shitty cars, and big-time crushes, a moment chock full of questions for the young and wild, and the answer is finally here. On their CD debut, I Feel Better Already, The Cretins prove that they are the new and rightful throne owners of the Bubblicious scene that is punk. Fun-fueled punk, that is. No big statements here, just the ones that matter; chicks, drinking, and ripping up the stage for the fun of it. If you’ve been keeping tabs on the punk stream, you’re well aware of the quick rise up that spearmint pole the boys are taking. Shows all over the place, with everyone, songs popping up everywhere, and a new fan in MTV’s Jenny McCarthy. The CD seals the envelope though. Going back and forth between “got beat up in the alley” screamers and faggy whine-boy gumdroppers like “12 Hours,” this release shows more talent, fun, and range than most “punkers” on the train at the moment. Murf polishes those afterschool daydreams into epic classroom dramas like a breakup composer. The surprise, and a lot of the fun here, is drummer A.J., bitching about his jalopy on “Quantum Heap.” The triangle of Murf, Kraut, and A.J. is a satellite picking up anything from the ’80s, up to and including the career of Bryan Adams… We’ll let you listen for yourself. Wash down this CD with plenty of Buds, that’s the way The Cretins would want it.