In for a Fin
Five fun things for under five dollars
Hooking you up with what’s hot, odd and otherwise for limited lettuce
by Susanne Kammlott
1. Bubble Gum Checkbooks
It’s in for a fin, not in for a felony! Which is why we can endorse Amurol Confection Co.’s Bubble Gum Checkbooks. But you’d better think again before cashing them. Each is signed by a fiscally slippery type: Deadbeats like Bill MeLater, Wally Wall Street, and that swindling senior citizen, Granny Larceny; and made out for astronomically bogus amounts like one billion gazillion. Choose from two designer covers, hippy swivelly abstract or floating retro gismos. Plus, they’re printed with food coloring, in case you have to eat the evidence. For your counterfeit chewing amusement, bubble gum checkbooks by Amurol Confection Co., 28OO N. Rte 47, Yorkville, IL 60560. Available at any candy aisle worth its sugar for 99 cents.
2. Novelty Address Books
Saints preserve us and the ones we love. Thanks to the crafty Taiwanese, now it’s possible and divinely wallet-sized as well. Go tell it on the mountain! You can keep a running tab on your flock, safely and magneticaIly sealed, with an immaculate image on the outside. Done in sacroschmaltzy reproduction, the address books feature saints, blessed scenes and the Big Savior himself. From history’s most holy handy man to that hot, rose-toting liltie number, St. Theresa: All the Pope’s A-list people are there. And plenty of accordion style sheets for you to illuminate with inspirational scribbling. Priced for church mice and religious freaks alike at 99 cents. Available at Store 24 in Kenmore Square and other convenience stores in the Boston area.
3. Fruit Sponges
Yes, they have no bananas. But the naturally fresh folks at Garden Botanica do have fun sponges in every other fruit shape you might like to bite into. These organically-inspired bathroom accessories grow in bright green apple, grapes, pear and even sunny lemon. The big absorbent foam will look ambrosia swell no matter where they wind up. A possible device to disengage frustration (hurl ’em at people: One more word and you’re getting the watermelon!) , or toss ’em in a glass bowl for a bizarre soft sculpture fruit cocktail effect. Do a Carmen Miranda without going down to Rio, just head for Garden Botanika, 267 Harvard St., Coolidge Corner, Brookline. (617) 975-0102. Only $5.00 a piece.
4. Too Much Coffee Man Comic
LOOK! UP IN THE SKIES ABOVE STARBUCKS! It’s a cup of coffee. It’s a man. It’s TOO MUCH COFFEE MAN! This java-powered comic features champion caffeine consumer, Too Much Coffee Man and a host of other addictive personalities like Too Much Espresso Man and Underwater Guy. Colorfully brewed by cartoonist Shannon Miller, TMCM is chock full of momentary dementia and jittery excursions into existentialism. It’s the perfect blend of irreverent irony and eye-popping graphics. And each story is merciflilly short for the too-buzzed-out-to-concentrate crowd. There’s even a Japanese bootleg version that translates as “Man Who Drinks Coffee Often.” Imbibe TMCM at Comicopia, 464 Commonwealth Ave., Boston, $2.49, or go right to the source: www.tmcm.com
5. Candy Pills
Were you one of those demented tots who immediately munched down all the candy pills in your kiddie medical kit? Me, too. Luckily, Innovative Concept Marketing of Chicago has heard our cries to be comfortably numb and have concocted sweet-tasting prescriptions to cure every modern ailment out there. Suffering from insomnia? Try Dr. U.R. Nuts’ DoZac. “Sleep your way through life” as the label suggests. Been plagued by a babbling bleach job? Smart Blonde Pills will wise up that fair-haired airhead you’ve been hanging out with. Just have him or her swallow a bottle, then “tape mouth shut,” says it all. Better living through Brainstorms’ psyche, candy chemicals can be obtained at Cool Beans, 36 JFK Street, The Garage, Harvard Square. $3.49.
Susanne Kammlott is a freelance writer who is perfectly qualified to write this piece because she is known, by friends and curious onlookers alike, for entering convenience stores with $5.00 and emerging with a two-foot tube of grape pixie dust, water pistols, play money, and a belated birthday card for Robert Downey Jr. She has no plans of stopping. Her life-long dream is to one day be Mrs. Archie McPhee.
