ANTiSEEN

Here to Ruin Your Groove (Baloney Shrapnel)
by Duke Crevenator

All hail the World Champions of Rock-n-Roll! The founders, and eternal lords, of Destructo Rock, ANTiSEEN, have once again given the undeserving public another full album of greatness. Jesus, if I didn’t know Jeff Clayton and crew hailed from the same hometown as “Nature Boy” Ric Flair (that’s Charlotte, NC for those of you pathetic enough not to know), I’d swear they must live down the street here in Dover, NH. The sentiments expressed in these songs would make Daniel Webster glow with pride, which leads me to believe New Hampshire has more in common with the South than it does with weenbag states like Mass, Vermont, Rhode Island, et al.

One of the best cuts on the album is “Spare Change.” Good Gravy, talk about lyrics to live by! You can tell these guys have done their share of touring over the last fifteen years. Any song that discusses the benefits of blowing away those pathetic crusty punks who try to beg your hard-earned money outside shows (like at the fucking Rat) is A #1 in my book. “You better get outta shooting range, cuz you’re not getting none of my spare change.” WHOO! It should come as no surprise to anyone that in New Hampshire, I have never, ever been begged for change or anything else. Why? Cuz if anyone did, they’d get their fucking ass kicked! Hell, even my grandma would put the cane to someone too lazy to earn their own fucking money. Why putzes in other states put up with it is beyond me.

“Justifiable Homicide” is another track that contributes to the “the way things ought to be” theme with lyrics about what one should be able to do when some lowlife fucks around with what’s rightfully yours. “I watched him die real slow, spit in his eye to make sure he knows I’m the one who ended his life, in my heart it was justified.” If that ain’t poetic justice, then I don’t know what the fuck that phrase is supposed to mean.

Track six, a song entitled “Funk U,” not only rates as the best track on this album, but as one the greatest songs of all time. When I read that this song was a tribute to Terry Funk, I realized that ANTiSEEN better have done one helluva good job to do this man justice. Terry Funk, to those uninitiated into the glorious realms of professional wrestling, is one of, if not THE, most feared man in the history of the sport. He’s had more gold around his waist than the past six generations of your family have earned in their lifetimes. And, at age 52, he’s still leaving his opponents in bloodied heaps on the floor. Chairs, branding irons, nooses, bells, and even, as the song says, “plastic bags” are fair game for Mr. Funk to use to destroy his opponent. With that brief history, hopefully you can appreciate the task ANTiSEEN had in writing a fitting tribute. Well, let me tell ya, they come through, and with plenty to spare. I can’t get enough of this song. The riff is BALLSY, and the production quality is perfect.

I listen to it and remember the first time I saw Terry Funk take on the Sheik in the classic ’70s documentary I Like to Hurt People. Then there was the time at the Boston Garden in the mid-’80s when I saw Mr. Funk in person. He beat the crap outta Hulk Hogan and left him a bloody mess in the middle of the ring. Hell, even if every song on this record was trash, which is hardly the case, I’d buy it just for this song. It’s THAT good.

There are many other classic ANTiSEEN originals including “We Got this Far (without you),” which is a fitting attack on the many other bands who alter what they believe in for a bigger paycheck. Well, Clayton and Co. have been doing this for fifteen years and are proof that if you’re tough, work hard, and stay true to your roots, you can make a living without having to kiss ass. “Self-Induced Lobotomy” is a great song that was previously released on the Sons and Daughters of This Savage Land comp. There are a few good covers as well, including “Sick Things” and “Needle and the Spoon.”

Overall, this release is one the finest I’ve heard in a long time, and it’s damn refreshing I’ll tell you. Musically, as mentioned earlier, it’s got more BALLS than a horny bull and it is very well produced (which DOES NOT mean overproduced). It’s no coincidence that this record is released by the King of Indie labels, Baloney Shrapnel (Phoenix, AZ) either. This label consistently releases work by bad-ass bands that tell it like it is, whether ya like it or not. I must admit, this is Baloney Shrapnel’s best release since the legendary Cocknoose Badmen, Butchers, and Bleeders CD of a couple years back.