The Culture Bunker – Page 2 – Lollipop Magazine

The Culture Bunker – Thirteenth Night, or Whatever You Say: Act 2 – Fiction

May 1, 1997

Rut: Shut thine pie-hole, Trichinosis! My lord is dying and so art thou, thou underrehearsed beverage- referencing knave! Take heed! Take two, they’re small.

The Culture Bunker – Thirteenth Night, or Whatever You Say – Fiction

April 1, 1997

It’s been determined a lost work of William Shakespeare, owing to his unparalleled characterizations, and that funny way he had of making “s”s look like “f”s.

The Culture Bunker – Obscurity Minus 14:59 And Counting – Fiction

February 1, 1997

I knew it was coming to me, so I had to do it right. I sprung into action immediately, sustaining only mild facial contusions when I slammed into the wall.

The Culture Bunker – 23 Short Columns About Filling Magazine Space – Fiction

December 1, 1996

While you’re reading this sentence, Cubans are rummaging through your closets and loosening the buttons on your favorite shirt just to fuck with you.

The Culture Bunker – If The Benefits, Wear It – Fiction

November 1, 1996

I was line-dancing to techno, starting a one-man mosh pit, doing the Bulgarian Hustle… I was out of control. Guys in Morrissey shirts beat the crap out of me.

The Culture Bunker – Fiction

October 1, 1996

Glance at the sleeve art once or twice, take large chunks out of the press release, and intersperse it with random phrases from your little sister’s diary.

The Culture Bunker – Fiction

September 1, 1996

Observe the complete rundown of the work required to complete an average Culture Bunker…

The Culture Bunker – Beer and Loafing on the Campaign Trail ’96 Part Three: Eerht Trap – Fiction

August 1, 1996

The crowd erupted in cheers and applause. Adulation filled the room as adulation will if you don’t leave the seal on the jar it’s contained in.

The Culture Bunker – Beer and Loafing on the Campaign Trail ’96 Part Two: To Be Announced – Fiction

June 1, 1996

The world-renowned Dance Around the Issues. Very simple: Just a bold half-step forward followed by a sheepish retreat and a denial you ever made the first step.

The Culture Bunker – Beer and Loafing on the Campaign Trail 1996 – Fiction

May 1, 1996

The directive arrived by Priority Male (a service made up of gay strippers): Pernod announced candidacy. Cover party. Bring back story and non-dairy creamer.