Peter and the Test Tube Babies
Test Tube Trash (Doctor Strange)
by Jon Sarre
Say this five times fast, “Peter plays punk for punters pissed on pints at pubs.” Not only is this a sticky little tongue-twister, it’s also a good description of Peter and the Test Tube Babies. English versions of good ole boys they are, four yobs you can sit back and have a few with and then throw your beer mug at as they thrash out unmistakably British proto-Oi like “Vicars Wank Too.”
They arrived on the scene close to twenty years ago, kinda as the jokers in the crowd of spike-haired would-be revolutionaries. It wasn’t Thatcher, tower blocks, and dole queues they came to bitch about, but rather the fact that the local watering hole didn’t welcome their business, hence the first track on Test Tube Trash, “Banned From the Pubs” which is probably Peter’s best known composition, as well as one of their most aggressive. A driving beat and a grinding, chordage-by-numbers riff propels the simple sing-one-line-then-shout-the-chorus lyrics and the throaty, cockney vocalizations ensure that you can’t understand more than “Banned from the pubs!”
Unfortunately, nothing else on Test Tube Trash (it’s sort of a greatest non-hits collection) quite approaches the manic power of that first song, but that’s not to say P&TTTB never come close. The earlier material collected on the first half of the disc doesn’t often disappoint, especially the straight-ahead Oi of “I Lust for the Disgusting Things,” the Sham 69-like “Peacehaven Wild Kids,” and “Up Yer Bum,” kinda the Test Tube Babies’ anthem, their “Pretty Vacant,” if you will.
Sometime in the mid-’80s, however, the band attempted an unfortunate and ill-advised stylistic change. They added icky sequenced drums and subtracted most of the guitar grit until they sounded like the Edge was jammin’ with ’em for chrissakes! The second half of Test Tube Trash chronicles this period, but “Blown Out Again” and “The Spirit of Keith Moon” (where the late Who drummer comes back from the dead just to call Peter an asshole) are sureshot face savers. What’s with all the goddamn ballads though?
Surprisingly enough, Peter and the gang pulled a sort of ’68 Comeback Special (without the fanfare, natch) and returned from semi-oblivion recently with their new record,Supermodels. After the weak ’80s output, you’d probably figure on skippin’ this un, but not so fast… this disc pretty much smokes from beginning to end. The real burners are “Dog Society,” “U Bore Me,” and “Giving Up Drinking” (something they have no intention of doing), but like I said, the whole thing’s consistent. The songs here deal with growing older (but not up), friends who don’t hang around, the biz, and all the other old punk band shit you’ve probably heard before. Introspection here, however, usually takes a back seat to a worthwhile good time, and anyway, after twenty years, these guys probably need the dough. Just try to picture what their bar tabs must be like!
