The Hives

Barely Legal (Gearhead)
by Jon Sarre

I missed these guys when they passed thru Portland with commie-? and the Mysterians fans The (International) Noise Conspiracy, cuz I totaled my ex-girlfriend’s car earlier in the day, so I didn’t feel like schleppin’ my ass over to this all-ages club run by some insidious Christian organization that won’t even let ya smoke in their club, let alone drink demon whiskey, the bastards! In retrospect, I shoulda gone cuz there doubtlessly woulda been underage females there to see The Hives, and oh yeah, The Hives played. Anyway, lucky Continentals got to hear this muthahumper, like, four years ago, and good for them, even tho’ their money got taken away and they gotta drive goofy little cars and have I mentioned Albania? There ya go. Them foreigners were probably rubbin’ their greasy hands with EU-approved glee and dee-lite, cuz The Hives got this nasty pickled cod shake appeal so high-octane ya’d swear their pores ooze nitro as they run through the fourteen tracks here like the only record they’d ever heard was New Bomb Turks’ debut and they’re still clever enough to make it sound as fresh as steppin’ outta a cold shower with a freshly deloused stripper, which come to think of it, sounds sorta unappealin’, so it’s better than that, even, like wakin’ up and decidin’ to ditch work and go get debauched instead. Life affirming!
(PO Box 421219 San Francisco, CA 94142)