Avenged Sevenfold

Sounding the Seventh Trumpet (Hopeless)
by Morgan Coe

Hopeless’ bio describes Avenged Sevenfold as a “near-superhuman quintet,” and they are like some kind of crazy, shapeshifting monster. Intros range from Guns N’ Roses to Blind Guardian, guitar riffs jump from Limp Bizkit to a dumbed-down Dark Tranquillity, and the singer can’t decide if he wants to be Bon Jovi, Gregg Graffin, or Glen Benton. They’re trying to be “diverse,” but it comes off as forced and awkward: The Bad Religion harmonies are just tired (more “oozin’ uhhs” than “ahhs”), the “melodic” post-black metal singing’s just silly, and the music is too busy chasing Meshuggah, Strung Out, and At The Gates to muster any energy of its own. And did I mention that they have not one but two straight-up power ballads, complete with acoustic guitar and piano? And here I was, thinking “More Than Words” sucked the first time around…
(PO Box 7495 Van Nuys, CA 91409)