“Dead Mexican in my Headphones”

Phil Lewis from L.A. Guns…
“I like a dead Mexican in my headphones and I’m ready to go.”

I interview rock guys two, three times a week. I use voice recognition software to transcribe these interviews. Works like this: I tape the phone conversation, then take the tape and speak my questions and their answers into a headset and voila, it’s a transcribed text file. It doesn’t always come out as planned though. Fun game: Repeat the wrongness out loud and you might be able to figure out what the guy actually said. Here are some of the more memorable miscues. More than a few of these gems ring truer than the actual words spoken…

by Martin Popoff
illustrations by Jonathan Ian Mathers

Devin Townsend on the keyboardist on the Strapping album…
“Yeah, Will just got signed to Def Jam and he’s playing guitar. Keyboard players unite! Give Strapping a call. If you’re not a freak and you can take being bitch-slapped and have lots of deer, you’re our guy.”

Jens Johansson in turmoil in the Yngwie camp…
“Everybody left and he had a completely new band. But they got along OK. I think Yngwie’s ego baby had a bit of a wake-up call.”

Zakk Wylde on working with Ozzy…
“Ozzy would just call me up and go, ‘Haystack, let’s get together and knock this fucking thing out.'”