Columns/Fiction – Page 62 – Lollipop Magazine

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Three Years and We Still Suck – part 1 of 3

June 1, 1996

Three Year Anniversary, Favorite Excerpts part 1 of 3, issues 1 thru 11.

Dear Editor – Fiction

June 1, 1996

I am a small fat troll of an old lady who enjoys waddling down subway platforms in front of educated, good-looking, productive, and adjective-obsessed young men.

Bewitched – Samantha Stevens, Other Worldly Suffragette – Fiction

June 1, 1996

Samantha could have toppled skyscrapers and Jeannie could have short-fused rockets faster than June Cleaver served Wonder Bread fluffernutters, yet neither did.

100 Years of Lollitude (Give or take 97) – Fiction

June 1, 1996

In June, 1896, Charles Foster Hefflon, an employee of America’s first convenience store, Shoppe 24, accidentally ingested an opium-laced sarsaparilla and had a vision.

Coroner’s Corner – Excuse me, is that my spleen on your shoe? – Column

June 1, 1996

Instead, most of the people I know chose to discuss When Animals Attack, a documentary on real animals that kill everybody. I’m sure there’s a message here.

Cine-Trash – Myra Breckinridge – Column

June 1, 1996

Loosely based on Gore Vidal’s novel, it’s often cited as one of the worst movies ever made. Rex Reed as a milquetoast becomes Raquel Welch after a sex-change.

A Few of My Favorite Things – Another Band That Changed My Life – Column

May 1, 1996

Nomeansno – Sex Mad/You Kill Me – “Dad” is horrifying, “Self Pity” is gut wrenching, and “Metronome” just plain kicks ass. Play loud and sing along.

A Few of My Favorite Things – Ten CDs You Can’t Live Without – Column

May 1, 1996

Black Flag, Bad Brains, and Dead Kennedys may be better known, but nobody captures the exuberance and sonic recklessness of hardcore like DC’s Minor Threat.

A Few of My Favorite Things – Three Song Lyrics That Convey Tragedy At Its Finest – Column

May 1, 1996

“…and it was cold, and it rained, so I felt like an actor…” David Bowie, “Five Years”

A Few of My Favorite Things – Three Books I’m Reading – Column

May 1, 1996

John Waters, Trash Trio – The scripts for three of Johnny’s finest: Pink Flamingos, Desperate Living, and (the sadly never produced) Flamingos Forever.

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