Columns/Fiction – Page 77 – Lollipop Magazine

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Cine-Trash – Track 29 – Column

July 1, 1995

An unholy souffle of over-the-top performances (Sandra Bernhard plays Christopher Lloyd’s mistress), weird editing/camera foolery, and muddy Freudianism.

Prelude to a Lick – Assholes and Pussies – Column

July 1, 1995

The asshole/Editor is trying to make sure you live up to your commitment and not be such an irresponsible pussy. That’s right, I said pussy.

Mediacrity! – Column

July 1, 1995

The plight of the unsold pilot. As a public service, I give you several of the forgotten seedlings, lost in the unforgiving shuffle of TV Land, USA.

Prelude to a Lick – Column

June 1, 1995

Yeah, so I lived up to the stereotype last month by showing up late and drunk to judge the WBCN Rumble. I was disqualified. Sorry. Doc Hopper won, by the way.

Mediacrity! – Column

June 1, 1995

The Golf Channel isn’t punishment enough for our technological sins? What’s next? The All-Tony Danza Network? The Pollen Count Channel? Renal Failure TV?

Idle Chatter – Column

June 1, 1995

An open audition for people to whoop, whistle, snort and pant for the laugh tracks of upcoming sitcoms, none of which have been produced or even conceived yet.

Graffic Traffic – Column

June 1, 1995

Hilariously and often poignantly lived through is Bitchy Bitch, an every-woman trying to live in a man’s world and survive doing it. Consistently a great book.

The Culture Bunker – Goes To New York Part III: The Inciting Contusion – Fiction

June 1, 1995

I could tell we were getting nearer Fox’s fortress by the growing sound of jungle drum machines in the distance. That and the heads strewn around the corridor.

Peace in the Pit Is Bullshit – Rant

June 1, 1995

Boston shouldn’t have or get a bad reputation for excessive violence, because it’s just not the case. It’s not that bad.

My Mom Came Back As a Running Back – Fiction

June 1, 1995

Six-fingered accountants calculated the profits from the exploitation of the exhumed Uncle Sam. If only he wasn’t trapped inside a glass cylinder, and dead.

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