Issue 61 – Lollipop Magazine

Recent

[ November 9, 2026 ] Cloak to Release New Album Feb 2027 + 2026 Tour Dates – News News
[ November 6, 2026 ] Staind Share “Ghosts” and 2027 Tour Dates with Seether, Hoobastank, and Hinder – News News
[ November 4, 2026 ] I Prevail announce 2027 Tour Dates supporting Three Days Grace – News News
[ November 2, 2026 ] Nile and Coroner Announce Spring 2027 Tour – News News
[ October 30, 2026 ] A Perfect Circle Release “To Whom It May Concern” and Announce 2027 Tour – News News
[ October 28, 2026 ] Darkest Hour Announce New Single “Warrior” and 2026 Tour Dates – News News
[ October 26, 2026 ] Alice Cooper’s “Devil On My Shoulder” Memoir Is An International Best-Seller – News News
[ October 23, 2026 ] Hippie Death Cult Drops New Single + US Tour Dates with COC & The Sword – News News
[ October 22, 2026 ] Kontusion Announces 2026 East Coast Tour MMXXVI with Hedonist – News News
[ October 21, 2026 ] As I Lay Dying Announce Self-Titled Album and 2026-2027 Tour Dates – News News

The Panting Mimes have learned a valuable lesson: If your band sucks, just get hot dancing girls.

Winston regretted not getting the smaller hearing aide.

When not practicing the one groovin' riff all their songs were based on, rap metallers No Hope for Honkies hung out at the park, pimpin' an' dealin', uh, light bulbs?

Bunkbed Boys guitarist "Lazy" Eric had seen other guitarists fall to the ground and keep playing while writhing about on the floor, but he always was kind of a lazy fuck.

As the band toasted their success, Tom didn't have the heart to tell Buffalo Shoulder he was just the FedEx delivery guy and they'd misunderstood what he'd meant when he said "you need to sign with me."

Sum 41, you can climb on a roof, you can hire all the security you want, I'll still yell "Sum 41, you suck ass!" at the top of my lungs.

Unida Hand singer Jim "Jesus Christ, Look at the Size of His Hands!" Fredricks finally came forward about his condition.

Practice as he might, Brian invariably misses a note or two and his bandmates make him sit in the corner for the rest of practice.

The boys still couldn't play, but they liked to hang out in Tyler's bedroom near the poster of that dreamy dude from Dawson's Creek and pose: Tyler with his electric guitar, Tucker with his acoustic until his parents buy him an electric, Gabe joking around with the sax he played in band the one member who could actually play, so they let him be in the band despite his stupid hair, Hamilton with his sister's keyboard, that kid from gym class, even though he didn't play anything, and Jeremy with his, uh, whatever that thing is.

Which Way, I Wonder are either easily distracted, or they take that "look away from the camera" thing a little too far.

Which Way, I Wonder are either easily distracted, or they take that "look away from the camera" thing a little too far.

No one was really sure if Bill had gotten the tattoo to immortalize the heyday of punk, or to remember what year he was born. Maybe it was the number of brain cells he had left?

Van Helsing Death Squad stood menacingly over the photographer as if to say "And we'll knock you on your ass again if you say we look like a dumb-ass metal band," but, like, that was a lot of words to try to put all in a row.

Try as they might to hide him in the back, Jimmy's hairy mole ruined yet another promo picture.

Steel Codpiece singer Todd Cod always hated when Dave knocked him on the chest and said "Him singer. Him real strong."

As with many bands, singer/songwriter Julie Cabbage just needs that extra little push.

Seconds later, Grandma Johnson, hopped-up on tea and prescription meds, came barreling around the corner and Flux Capacitor's band photos became accident scene photos.

It worked! Tipping the photographer heavily for going along with their "back a little more, a little more" idea, The Cockamamie Coalition had finally gotten rid of their showboat singer.

Looking to butch up their image, The Plum Fairies decided to do their photoshoot with chains.

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