Lollipop Magazine

The Culture Bunker – A Friendly Remainder – Fiction

November 1, 1998

The ‘Bama Sutra: Showing in sadly explicit detail hundreds of different techniques and positions for having sex with blood relatives or the merely toothless.

The Culture Bunker – 1998 in Review or Up Against the Wal-Mart, Maternal Fornicators! – Fiction

March 1, 1998

The year ends much as it began, with the minor addition of the bloody battle between the forces of good and evil on Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve 1999.

The Culture Bunker – The Future Is Now, Please Bill Me Later – Fiction

December 1, 1997

With December comes the end of another wildly adequate year of cutting-edge journalism, edgy opinion-making, and our single-handed revival of the payola craze.

The Culture Bunker – Two Thumbs Up II Part 2 – Fiction

November 1, 1997

“This, my friends with whom I’m forging an unlikely bond, is the Planet Product Placement hotel, the best place to go if you wanna contrive an exciting climax.”

The Culture Bunker – Two Thumbs Up Part II: Electric Boogaloo – Fiction

October 1, 1997

“Now what the fuck are we gonna do? Mr. Burnt Sienna’s fuckin’ dead! That means I’ll have no one to bounce my sarcastic pop-culture references off of!”

The Culture Bunker – Two Thumbs Up some very uncomfortable places – Fiction

September 1, 1997

“I’ve been carrying this vital piece of classified intel for days and I’ve got to get it to Ominous-Looking Government Headquarters in Qualico-Over-Quantico!”

The Culture Bunker – Welcome to the Messiah Complex – Fiction

July 1, 1997

We manufactured designer “accessories of Godliness” at the Sweatshop of Heavenly Piecework. These were rare and glorious times and I have the scabs to prove it.

The Culture Bunker – Hello, My Name Is Legion – Fiction

June 1, 1997

I was chasing a dream of rock ‘n’ roll stardom, playing electric ocarina in a band comprised of a bunch of malcontents, layabouts, and known mousse abusers.

A Rough Morning – Fiction

June 1, 1997

As I crossed the street this morning I saw three cows dancing in a circle. As I approached them, I noticed they were singing in a round.