A Rough Morning

by Macaroni McSpoon
illustration by Space Jockey

As I crossed the street this morning I saw three cows dancing in a circle. As I approached them, I noticed they were singing in a round. This explained their desire to dance in a circle. They sang to me these words:

Three blind mice…

Three blind mice…

Over and over and over and over and over and over again. I thought I would scream. I thought about it for a moment or two, and it seemed like a pretty good idea. So I did. I ran down the street screaming and covering my ears. The sky exploded soon afterwards, so I took refuge in a doorway painted blue. When the down-pour of kitchen utensils ceased, I ventured out onto the sidewalk. I was nearly struck by a flaming yodel someone had hurled. I searched the street for my antagonist, but it was deserted except for an iguana wearing a hat, holding a sax. He stared at me without blinking until I got so nervous I farted. I ran the rest of the way to my apartment while small, red-headed chickadees threw pennies at my feet. The door to my apartment building stood open, but tripped me as I passed through. I fell into a puddle of potato salad and ruined my trousers. When I finally got into my apartment, I discovered it had been wallpapered with photographs of people I’d never met. All in all, it’s been a rough morning.