Macaroni McSpoon’s Mike Stammer – Part Duh – Fiction

September 1, 2000

There was a sound behind me and I spun like a cat. Like a cat shrieking because you just ran the vacuum cleaner across its tail after hog-tying its paws and putting a burlap bag over its head to completely disorient it, but like a cat none the less and none the more.

Garbage Pail – The Art of Exaggeration: Bands – Column

January 1, 2000

When they say… They really mean… “This is the record that’s going to break us.” = “Our last record didn’t do shit for us.” “We just played a great show with [big name band].” = “There was a last minute cancellation and we were standing outside with our gear, like we always do.”

A Rough Morning – Fiction

June 1, 1997

As I crossed the street this morning I saw three cows dancing in a circle. As I approached them, I noticed they were singing in a round.

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