Underground Station – Column

October 4, 2004

In an odd recycling, underground comix legend Spain has moved towards a new comic action hero that is totally reminiscent of his earlier comix hero, Trashman.

Underground Station – Column

February 3, 2004

Mr. Crumb goes into these restaurants, orders food, and while he waits or is between courses, he draws fellow patrons or random ideas onto his placemats. He collects them, sends them to a publisher, and they end up in these books.

Icon, Divas, and Hoes – Fiction

October 15, 2003

As a highly-compensated taker of the national pulse, I decided to let rip a page out of the New York Times playbook, it being an icon of news journalism, and retained the services of an unkempt, boorish, flatulent but capable and unpaid intern.

Adventures in the MP3.Community – Column

May 16, 2003

Artists from around the world put their music on mp3.com in hopes it will lead to their big break. Every month, I will scour mp3.com for the most unique and entertaining acts. The good, the bad, and the really, really, really bad will be taken in and reviewed.

Selections From Jon Bon Jovi’s Journals – Fiction

April 18, 2003

Jon Bon Jovi filled dozens of notebooks, journals, diaries and cocktail napkins with song lyrics and his thoughts on music, fame, hair spray, and money. The following selections from the journals of Jon Bon Jovi.

Underground Station – Column

April 18, 2003

Ever since Robert Crumb and Justin Green, there’s been a glut of young artists sure that we want to read their personal anecdotes of growth. Summer Blonde captures issues #5 through #8 of Adrian Tomine’s personal comic, Optic Nerve, and looks to be a blockbuster.

Ozz-fête – An “interview” with Ozzy Osbourne – Fiction

November 8, 2002

World famous music/fashion/theatre/ film critic Jean-Paul Bavard met with America’s favorite TV dad/heavy metal singer, Ozzy Osbourne, at a posh café in Hollywood. They discuss Ozzy’s hit MTV show, Ozzfest, his solo recording career and days with Black Sabbath, and the impending death that one day awaits us all.

The Night I Died – BANG BANG BANG – Chapter three – Fiction

August 2, 2002

Above me, more mess in the sky. Like four or five copters and lights flashing around. And then, and then, all that flash replaced by different flash, I guess studio flash ’cause I’m at the studio. Those dumb lights that move and shake. These fancy cars and important people…

Some Catnip from Burroughs’ Cat – Fiction

April 19, 2002

I just got the package… my cat is going fucking nuts! He’s just pushin’ it all around the apartment with his nose – Ming! Stop that! – what in hell…? I don’t know what you put in it, but thank you, and – Ming! Uh, I gotta go… I’ll call you back.

The Turkish Baths, Cabana 12 – Fiction

April 19, 2002

When my friend Cindy suggested we go to the Turkish baths, I thought it must be some sort of historical, living museum-type place. But you don’t get naked in museums. At least, not the last I checked.

The Night I Died – BANG BANG BANG, Chapter Two – Fiction

April 19, 2002

Everything she’s saying is true. So true it’s fire, and I’m almost gonna explode, like blue ice shattering… “I’ll show you. I’ll show you, Jack. I’ve been holding it inside, trying to control it, but now I see I was just waiting, just waiting Jack…” I’m screaming.

A Blackheart’s Tale – Todd Brendan Fahey – Fiction

April 19, 2002

I was patently unprepared for the metamorphosis that took place just after the Christmas season, when Jurgen called me from the Ogden city lockup and asked me to post the five-hundred-dollar bond because no one in his family would.

The Night I Died – Fiction

February 22, 2002

Where’s the project? What the fuck am I gonna do? Burning up in this hell and she’s cackling like some ninny-throated witch through that wall. Cranking up that goddamned techno music.

The Album of Le Nouveau Millennium – Fiction

February 22, 2002

I have seen the future of music, and it is exemplified by one album, an album of such greatness and utter transcendence that it encompasses all of our feelings, hopes, dreams and darkest fears, and it has a good beat, and you can dance to it.

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