The Culture Bunker | Lollipop Magazine

The Culture Bunker – If The Benefits, Wear It – Fiction

November 1, 1996

I was line-dancing to techno, starting a one-man mosh pit, doing the Bulgarian Hustle… I was out of control. Guys in Morrissey shirts beat the crap out of me.

The Culture Bunker – Fiction

October 1, 1996

Glance at the sleeve art once or twice, take large chunks out of the press release, and intersperse it with random phrases from your little sister’s diary.

The Culture Bunker – Fiction

September 1, 1996

Observe the complete rundown of the work required to complete an average Culture Bunker…

The Culture Bunker – Beer and Loafing on the Campaign Trail ’96 Part Three: Eerht Trap – Fiction

August 1, 1996

The crowd erupted in cheers and applause. Adulation filled the room as adulation will if you don’t leave the seal on the jar it’s contained in.

The Culture Bunker – Beer and Loafing on the Campaign Trail ’96 Part Two: To Be Announced – Fiction

June 1, 1996

The world-renowned Dance Around the Issues. Very simple: Just a bold half-step forward followed by a sheepish retreat and a denial you ever made the first step.

The Culture Bunker – Fiction

April 1, 1996

The cellblock was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. The warden swung around angrily. “Awright, who dropped that pin? Somebody spoiling to be expurgated?”

The Culture Bunker – Fiction

March 1, 1996

I was relaxing in my hyperbolic chamber, when, through the triple-density Perplexiglas and clogged whimsy filter, I heard a muffled knock at my door.

The Culture Bunker – Fiction

February 1, 1996

The Royal Shakespeare and Traveling Wet-Nurse Repertory Theatre has mounted a series of the Bard’s greatest works, subtly rewritten for the adult market.

The Culture Bunker – Fiction

December 1, 1995

Virgil is gone. So is my illegitimate brother, Sliced. His absence is like a gaping void where once there was a void that didn’t gape nearly as much.

The Culture Bunker – Fiction

November 1, 1995

Dex has been stockpiling assault weapons and yellow highlighting pens, preparing us for the Day of the Final Draft.