Dear Lollipop – Fiction

Dear Lollipop

by Chad P. Glomwort

Love had been on my list of things to do for some time. I always felt it would help me to grow as a person, but I seem to have a deep-seated fear of commitment and uncertainty. I think it’s rooted in some traumatic early childhood experience I have yet to identify. In any case, last summer, I at last had the opportunity to experience it and it’s something I want to share with the world. It happened in a way that was at once enriching and totally non-threatening to my inner child, I think everyone can benefit from this exercise in, shall we say, “controlled reality.”

I met her at a co-dependency seminar at Alterna-Tome Book Store and Cafe near Harvard Square. She was wearing a Dali-print frock that positioned a melting watch over her breast so heartbreakingly it made me catch my breath. I think she dug my “Famous Faces” Bette Midler t-shirt. She caught the subtle irony in it. “You are the wind beneath my wings,” she whispered to me in the line for tea and bagel chips with humus. I knew it could be a match. I was scared, sure, but when she started telling me about meeting Patti Davis at another seminar, well, it was beyond my control.

We left the book store together. At the T stop, I asked her to go with me to an Ekanar breathing class that evening. She said she couldn’t make it, but we set up a date for the following day at the Middle East Cafe. Needless to say, the whole train ride home, I didn’t absorb a word of the Anne Rice novel I was reading that week.

She was twenty minutes late for our luncheon. During the wait I flipped through a copy of your magazine and thoroughly enjoyed it. When she came in I didn’t have any place to hide it so I sat on it. “What’s that?” she asked. I admit I didn’t have the nerve to tell her. She wouldn’t have understood, believe me. Her next words were, “I’m moving to North Carolina in six weeks.” Lollipop, these words nearly crushed me. It was as if she were anticipating her inevitable rejection of me. But then – in a flash of insight – I realized that this could be the answer to our co-dependency complexes. I believe she was taken back when I blurted, “That’s great!” I was so giddy with my new revelation I failed to notice. “But… but… don’t you see?” I said. And I explained everything to her then and there. When I finished, she stared at me as if recognizing me for the genius all my seminar leaders had told me was in my potential.

You see, Lollipop, the plan was simple. We both could participate in the thrill and excitement and ultimate letdown of a typical relationship without any of the uncertainty of how it would end, or how painfully. We could schedule it out very neatly and simply. It would be, if you will, an exercise in co-dependency without any of the real consequences.

The experience was a triumph in self-determination. We enjoyed the benefits of a true, mutually beneficial love affair with a built-in termination loophole. It was spiritually refreshing and, yes, it has helped us both to grow as persons. It has done nothing less than restructure my entire world-view. And I think that everyone should plan their relationships so well. Lollipop, I hope you can share my experience with your readers somehow.

p.s. She sent a postcard from Graceland saying she’d be back to visit in mid-March. (She posted it with an Elvis stamp, no less. What a card!) We’ve arranged a tearful, sentimental reunion. I’ll keep you posted.