Buck Naked Babes in Bondage – Rant

Buck Naked Babes in Bondage

by Scott Hefflon
photo by Chris Johnson

Now that I have your expectant attention, I’ll deflate the hype. We’ve been packaged and promised sex and wound up with music. In most cases, the music wasn’t bad and the experience was interesting. But the hype of a peepshow into realms of porno fantasia beyond human understanding left you limp and unfulfilled.

If you’ve lived in this “alternative age” or have had any kind of “rock ‘n roll” lifestyle, then most of what you see onstage is a quaint beginner’s demonstration of kinky, quirky, oh-so deviant sexual behavior. If it’s about music – publicize it as a musical event with a hot ticket of a singer (or whatever). If it’s supposed to be about over-the-top sexual feats, then for honesty’s sake, show us something real, something wild, or at least something we haven’t done before! (Look at me, I’m pleading with publicists to be honest. I must be high on idealism.) Even in the AIDS-scared (and scarred) ’90s where just about any act is premeditated, openly discussed, and then wrapped in latex, wilder feats than these are being performed in closets, bathrooms (sometimes even with a partner!), backseats, and hideaway cabins. These performances are NOT “opening people’s minds” as the press kits would have us think. That is, unless the country actually is as charmingly innocent (a.k.a. ignorant, uneducated, inexperienced, etc.) as Beverly Hills 90210 or The Brady Bunch.

“Alternative” is now the majority. Basically, ALL target markets have blended and criss-crossed-over so that there are no strict barriers left. Through slight (and hopefully controlled) experimentalism, the majority has tried, or at least sampled, all those “dont’s” despite the mass-budgeted propaganda campaigns. It’s called LIFE. We want to experience it (or “Be in it”, to quote their own slogans), yet we’re force-fed public service “info”mercials pleading/commanding us not to. How about unsalted information? How about some real education? Isn’t there something written about freedom of choice, the pursuit of happiness, and all that good stuff? Is there something wrong with striving to be a well-rounded, well-informed individual? Is this degeneration a personal quest for evolution? Don’t be a whore, a junkie, a pervert, a weirdo, a loser, or any other stereotypical, easily-write-offable label that others stick to you because they don’t understand what it is you’re trying to achieve:Be a smart free-thinker, enjoy life, and GO SOMEWHERE WITH IT.

And don’t believe the hype.

This preachy brain spew brought to you by the Editor at 3 AM after seeing yet another let-down, over-hyped, over-budgeted film about youth culture. If you wish to respond for or against anything, anytime, anywhere, it’s supposedly a free country. Voicing an opinion only takes caring enough to make the effort and a stamp.

(Editor’s Note: The Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black frontwoman Kembra Pfahler’s candid shot reading Lollipop, apparently shocked by us, has nothing to do with this article. I just love the photo.)