Heroes Jargon
by Bob Butman
Hey all you lazy fools. Get ready, because we’ve got some way cool stuff for you this month with the latest from Thunderball Comics entitled The Hoe (that’s the garden tool we’re talking about, for all the filthy minded people who started to get excited).
This time, let’s start off with Bravura. Boy, does it live up to its name. The Breed, from Jim Starlin, is a must read. It deals in the world of men, with characters who are half human, half demon, equipped with sharp objects and completely violent. It’s kind of a nice blend, really. So pick it up and see what I mean. This year marks the return of my all time favorite comicbook, Dreadstar. Although Vanth Dreadstar is not in the storyline as of yet, the book has already gotten off to a good start that will hopefully not have an ending this time. The mighty Lord Papal is alive, surprisingly raising Vanth’s daughter (nothing like being brought up by the galactic Hitler) and trying to build an attack against the Zon with the help of Tueton and Skeevo. Hopefully the rest of the gang is still alive to make this book what it once was. I would encourage anyone and everyone to read the original 64 issues and I guarantee you will not be disappointed.
D.C. has a couple of neato things in the works for this summer with the Elseworld annuals. This type of story writing has become very popular in the last couple of years, so, of course, it’s time to cash in. Elseworld takes characters and puts them in situations that just couldn’t happen in their regular storylines. For example: Batman’s Gotham by Gaslight, which puts the Detective in Gotham during the 1800s instead of modern day. Viewing many on the shelf, I decided to give the Superman one a try since I’ve been bashing him ever since he died. Yeah, well, I do like Elseworld and I do suggest you pick them up, but for the life of me, I can’t figure out how I got suckered into buying another comic with that stupid S geek!
Ya know, (I’m gonna go off here for a bit) his regular comic sucks, but he’s still a pretty good character. He’s been around for like sixty years, let’s give him another shot. I’d still like to give him another shot. One right through his stupid S. I’m convinced he’s not worth keeping alive, and if you’re not, just read annual 6. O.K. back to happy thoughts. (Breathe in, breathe out.) The Batman story has finally switched over to the KnightsEnd, the final chapter in the Knightfall line. Bruce Wayne is back, but is not yet ready to tangle with his psychotic replacement. He is currently undergoing extensive training from the ninja-killer, Lady Shiva.
Meanwhile, Robin and the Nightwing are doing all they can just to keep an eye on the avenging Azreal (the new Bats) who is being haunted by the ghost of St. Dumas (who basically keeps calling him a loser). Only in comics can young people who are trying to do something get called a loser by a ghost. Unfortunately, in reality, we have parents. I think I’d rather by haunted. Anyway, the fight for the mantle of the Bat will be underway and there’s no way I’m going to miss a single issue. I’m excited!!! (I think I have to pee.)
Next up, is, of course, Marvel. Normally, I like to review several of Marvel’s titles, but this time,they’ve accomplished such greatness that I dare not clutter this section with anything else. I should give this a whole page just for the fact that Marvel did something creative and artistic with outstanding quality instead of cheap, trendy profitable. The greatness of which I speak is properly named, Marvels. It’s a four- issue series that touches upon the human’s side of how the superheroes came into the world and the emotions that surrounded their coming. Their story is written by Kurt Busiek and takes a viewpoint of allowing the reader to try and experience these Marvels as if they were truly a part of reality. Main character, Phil Sheldon, is a photographer in World War 2 and starts out taking pictures of the very first Marvels: Human Torch, Captain American, and the SubMariner. With these pictures, Phil starts his career as the premiere photographer of the Marvels and continues to keep track of them. Soon, more Marvels enter the scene, and for however much people were in awe of these super-humans, they really felt fear.
“Was that what it was? Jealousy? We were so awed by the Marvels that we had to grind them down.”
Phil takes us through the coming of Galactus, the birth of the mutants, and even gives us a realistic view of the death of Gwen Stacy. After finding that most of his life was devoted to trying to understand the Marvels and getting other people to understand what it was that he had learned, Phil decided to pass the torch in fear of wasting his whole life on the petty, small-minded people who seemed to be all around him. Once again, I am going to say that this four issue masterpiece is truly magnificent. If the story is not enough for you, then I’ve saved the best for last.
Alex Ross (after viewing these pages you will never forget that name) gives to us what looks like his priceless pages in which each panel is most certainly a Picasso. The only drawback to the whole thing is that the price tag is $5.95 an issue. This is something you’ll probably never hear me say again: After reading it, if someone said “$20 each,” I’d say, “I’ll take all four.”
When I started to sit down and write this piece, I was struck by the fact that we are now one year old. Say, shouldn’t we be getting our own 501 Jeans commercial right about now? Anyway, I understand that to many people, this is probably not such a big achievement, but this past year has been one of the most demanding and fulfilling times in my life. Definitely one I’ll never forget. So before I get going, I’d like to thank a few of the people who have been making Heroes Jargon possible for the past year: Ryk from SUPERHERO UNIVERSE for believing in us from the beginning; Laura for all those horrible, late night hours that she endured with Scott and myself (and believe me, folks, that’s no easy task); my mom and Rich for, oh yeah right, like I’ve got enough paper for that list. This is a quick run down of all the cool people who were nice enough to contribute their time and skills: Paul E. Lee, Philip Owen from the Keeper’s, Steven Hughes from Evil Ernie, Jeff Newman, and last, but not least, Mr. David C. Dawson. Thanx guys. Later!
