Arlan’s Army

(Flipside)
by Joshua Brown

Arlan Helm is an L.A.-based “controversial” photographer who’s also a mailman. He put together this compilation of punk and bar bands, most of whom are female-led or all female, from his hometown. The expected superficial social commentary and lack of experience at playing music in general are present for those who get off on that sort of thing, and intermittently there can be found that resonance of the not-yet-jaded that got us into punk in the first place. Also present are rough drafts of would-be pop hits that would lose their already negligible appeal if they were showered with airplay. The staple L.A. old-timers are U.X.A. (United Experiments of America), and the “why are we on this compilation?” act is Atomic Boy. The one interesting sound bite, without a particularly noteworthy song to accompany it, is Hitler’s Bikini‘s use of “you’re a groovy boy, I’d like to strap you on sometime” delivered by the infamous Ashley from Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. The best lyric is Ron & Nancy‘s “well, the world’s full of stars and bars, but my future’s full of bars and bars,” and the two best tracks are the first and last, the latter being Pink Sabbath‘s semi-sarcastic ode to “Bondage.” The first is Methadone Cocktail, led by a very photogenic female who complains, “My boyfriend, he’s jerking off a lot/ He uses girls to do it/ He sticks it in their twat.” My elicited fantasy-response was quickly edited from, “I’d never cheat on you, honey!” to, “I could be the boyfriend you bitch about in your next song