In For a Fin – Five fun things for under five dollars – Column

In For a Fin

Five fun things for under $5.00

Hooking you up with whats odd, hot and oltherwise for limted lettuce
by Susanne Kammlott

1. Garam Masala Curry Paste
As condiments go, garam masala may not melt your spine like wasabi, or cause smoke to curl out of your ears chinese mustard style, but as a means to live large on a budget of basmati rice, this curry paste is plenty hot. The good folks at Patak, “Acclaimed as manufacturers of the world’s finest Indian food products,” are doing their part to inflame taste buds, promote intestinal fortitude and keep us reaching for more water. Garam Masala Curry Paste: It’s all the sub-conti flavor you’ll ever need in one convenient jar. This pungent reddish brown paste provides instant gratification for those with impatient palates. In a jiff, it’ll clear your sinuses and keep your mouth humming for up to an hour: India-ify every meal with just one spoonfliL Patak’s original Garam Masala Curry Paste is available at Indian Foods and Spices, 80 River St., Cambridge near Central Square, Cambridge and other area import food stores. $3.49.

2. Retro Toy Key Chains
It doesn’t take 100s of couch hours with a shrink to realize amusement is very therapeutic. So thank the brilliant people at Basic Fun for reading your mind and coming up with a portable cure for commuter blues and pesky nervous habits. They’ve miniaturized classic ’70s toys and stuck them on a key chain. Wonder filled hours with Etch-A-Sketch, Silly Putty, Slinky Dog, plus Woolly Willy, await you. Now there’s no reason you and these tiny-sized play companions need ever be parted. Avoid strangers fondling your Magic 8-Ball, keep it key chain safe, and always on hand for private use. Retro toy key chain manufactured by Basic Fun Inc., Huntington, PA are available at Newbury Comics, 332 Newbury St., Boston. $3.99

3. Novelty Condoms
It’s what the well dressed jimmy will be wearing this season, rubbers with a ‘tude. Mobtown Inc.’s 100% latex prophylactics protect and project various flip and unsavory sentiments. The .45 Caliber model menaces, “Do you feel lucky? Well… do you? Punk!” Mysterious Encounters X type teases, “Fun protection against mysterious encounters with strangers, aliens, extra-terrestrials and ex-girl friends.” Halloween lovers can look forward to October and rolling “Deadly Brand” sheath over their bones. On the back of the package is a Top 10 list of Do’s and Don’ts (and do it again’s please) instructions you’d expect to find on any contraceptive worth a damn. Funky, clever graphics make these off-beat safes the perfect fun-loving, low-budget gift Novelty Condoms by Mobtown, Chicago, IL are available at Chameleon, 36 JFk St. Harvard Sq. Cambridge. $2.50.

4. Vietnamese Coffee
What’s all this Starbucks hubbub? Folks who live along Dorchester Ave. or any stretch replete with Asian eateries know that for a cup of joe that’s more ambrosia than just a quick caffeine fix, it’s Vietnamese coffee to the rescue! Made from a blend of rich dark French Roast drizzled with heaven-in-a-can: sweetened condensed milk, it’s smooth, devilicious and packs a buzz that beats a $3.95 latte any day. Most any establishment that feature the word Pho (means big bowl of noodle soup) will have some brewing. While you’re there, use the surreal, Play Skool inspired pay phone and check out the glow-in-the dark green desserts Enjoy Vietnamese Coffee, hot or iced, at Pho Hoa, 1356 Dot. Ave., near the Fields Corner t; Dorchester. $2.10

5. Prayer Candles
Why take chances in the dark? Prayer candles will keep your soul and your space brightly lit. If you’re worried about accidently conjuring up Evil or giving yourself some sort of a spiritual wedgie, you’ll be relieved to know that you don’t have to be a high pagan honcho or poltergeist wrangler to remember: White for love, blue for protection, green for prosperity and red for um, er, lust. Over priced prayer candles are sold all over town, but they won’t get you any more saintly mojo than the dollar store variety. And if you don’t make a habit of lighting them up at sundown and then sleeping until 1:00 p.m. the next day, these babies will last a while All purpose prayer Candles are available at Maxi’s 99 Cent Store located at 589 Mass. Ave., Central Square, Cambridge and at most other dollar stores. $1.00

Susanne Kammlott is a freelance writer who is perfectly qualified to write this piece because she is known, by friends and curious on-lookers alike, for entering convenience stores with $5.00 and emerging with play money, squirt guns, canned pickled octopus, and bubble gum in wacky colored containers. She has no plans of stopping. Her life-long dream is to one day be Mrs. Archie McPhee.