Gwar
Carnival of Chaos (Metal Blade)
An interview with Oderous Urungus
by Dave Bone
Stumbling out of Antarctica comes Gwar with their sixth audio odyssey, Carnival of Chaos. You might say “What is left for Gwar to conquer? They’ve fought Techno Destructo, Gor Gor, the Morality Squad, ex-girlfriends, aliens, rednecks, nuns, priests, police, Skul hed face, the Flesh Column, Cardnal Syn and themselves.” Well, the cannibalistic blood orgy continues, with Oderous Urungus (lead vocals and two-handed sword) returning to his pulpit of deviant abuse to face thirty-foot penguins, Techno Destructo (again) and maniacal fans. With a dripping fistful of naughtiness, he narrates the halls of his self-willed psyche and blazes a new path for Gwar and his horde of slaves to follow.
What is the latest problem with Gwar?
Incest.
Tell me about these penguins.
Well, the penguins, they’re a problem. We’ve been having a bit of a plumbing problem here at the Gwar castle and as a result I’ve been peeing out the window for the last ten years and it’s created a toxic waste lake. It’s had a slightly unnatural effect on the local animals, so now I have thirty foot mutant penguins outside my house telling me I’m a goddamned animal abuser because I make love to my dead dog with my horned, quibbling, pickley penis.
All of Gwar’s plans seem to fail in Al Bundian fashion – to what do you attribute this lack of success?
The Ragnarok comet is still coming, I just got it wrong on the calendar. Instead of 1996, it’s going to be 1999. I just learned how to read a calendar. How can I explain our failures except that it’s a tradition? The best laid plans of mice, men and even Gwar often go awry.
How did Gwar end up on The Jerry Springer Show?
I don’t know, I just woke up and I was there! It was a long process of suggesting and phone calls and then I suggested that Gwar actually feed Jerry to the giant World Maggot. He agreed and there was a long drug-and-booze-soaked orgy to seal the deal. When he came to, we were feeding him to the giant Maggot. Most of our fans wrote in and seem to approve of the murder of Jerry Springer, while a bunch of fat old ladies don’t.
How did the eclectic stew of songs on Carnival of Chaos come about?
Our practice stage is arranged like a gladiatorial arena. The songwriters and musicians enter from different parts of the arena and fight it out. That’s generally how we get our eclectic musical mix, through fighting.
“Pre-Skool Prostitute” is classic Gwar material.
The JonBenet Ramsey theme song.
Why was your last album, Ragnarok, a departure from such perverse lyrics?
Last year was the “hate album,” just pure blistering hate and people hated it. This year, we’re doing love, just pure blistering love, and people are going to love it. At least that’s the idea.
Any plans to release another home video?
We have a new video coming out of some sort. It’s the “Ragnarok” video that will detail our adventures throughout that tumultuous world tour and also include the videos for “Meat Sandwich” and “Surf of Syn” that no one saw because Beavis and Butthead won’t put us on their show anymore – all part of the big industry dis on Gwar.
As a novelty band, how’ve you lasted while others like Green Jello have fallen?
Stupidity on the part of the masses. I’m a god and I’ll last forever. O.K., I couldn’t get another job if I tried. How’s that? I have to be my own boss and if I have to come up with a clever marketing scam to sell x-amount of units per year, then I’m sorry, I’m just not interested. I have to stay true to my art.
To quote the headline of an editorial in a newspaper, “Is Gwar art?”
Well, we’ve got two letters from the word art in the word Gwar. It’s not very far to call Gwar art. It’s Gwart.
What is your tour plan?
We’re not going to use a tour bus this year, we’re going to walk out of our cave, kick a penguin into the air, follow it and play a show there.
When will you be touring?
We will tour the great, festering boil of a nation that is the United States of America starting on April 30th. Throughout the summer we will terrorize and copulate with all the JonBenet Ramseys that we find, and all the pre-skool prostitutes will be there. There are even rumors that Gwar will finally go to Japan.
What’s going to happen onstage?
Basically the show’s going to be war on the audience. When you come to the show, you will be confronted by the spectacle of us actually having ripped off a huge hunk of our castle wall and taken it wherever we’ll be playing. As we play our incredible music upon the stage, we will be assailed and attacked by all manner of mutant creatures. The toxic piss lake shall awaken the penguin beast, the meat grinder will be employed, and the return of the bastard T-Rex, Gor-Gor, in a zombified and toxified state might be achieved! There will also be a tiny JonBenet Ramsey doll named “Her.”
And this is all legal?
Well, I don’t care if it’s legal or not, do I?
Jizmak Da Gusha (drums) forbids his kids to see Gwar live. What would be your parental policy?
Make them go to every Gwar show. Actually, conceive them at a Gwar show – have the child during a show and throw him immediately into the audience.
It’s been a long road. A long, bloody, contorted road. From success to failure to success again, from drunkenness to rehab to being back out on the streets again. I’m here to say this: We have survived. They have taken their best shot. They’ve pooped, peed, shot, stabbed, did I say pooped? They’ve tried it all and it hasn’t work – we’re still here. We are musical herpes coming back to plague you yet again. We are the preachers of lust and demonic fury. We will come, we will conquer, we will come again. We stand poised to slaughter and fail on a more triumphant level than ever before deemed imaginable, and you will be there to share it.
