Can’t Hardly Wait – Review

Can’t Hardly Wait

with Ethan Embry, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Charlie Korsmo, Lauren Ambrose, Peter Facinelli, Seth Green
Written and Directed by Harry Elfont and Deborah Kaplan
(Columbia)
by Lisa Scanlon

I’m not afraid to admit it. I love Cheesy Teen Movies, especially those of the mid-’80s, John Hughes variety. You know these movies, and deep down, near the place in your heart where you store all the lyrics to “Walk Like an Egyptian,” you know you love them, too.

There are a few crucial characteristics that the Cheesy Teen Movie must have: 1) a sympathetic, lovable underdog of a protagonist who, during the course of the movie, finally gets some, 2) a cast of characters that parody high school “types”: the Nerd, the Jock, the Prom Queen, the Girl Who Spends An Hour Trying to Drink Out of the Water Fountain Because Her Neck Brace Gets in the Way, 3) a whole slew of pop culture references, and, most importantly, 4) a stubborn refusal to take itself seriously. Sadly, this movie genre pretty much died at the end of the ’80s along with leg warmers, Atari, and Sit ‘n’ Spins. This is why I was so excited to see Can’t Hardly Wait, which writer/directors Deborah Kaplan and Harry Elfont claim is a Say Anything or Fast Times at Ridgemont High for the ’90s. Did they succeed?

Can’t Hardly Wait definitely stays true to the standard Cheesy Teen Movie plot line. It’s the night after graduation at Huntington Hills High, and the entire graduating class crams into one house for a final party. At the center of the movie is Preston Meyers (Ethan Embry), who decides to use the party as an opportunity to declare his love for the beautiful, misunderstood prom queen Amanda Beckett (Jennifer Love Hewitt). But you really have to wonder why Preston is the focus. It’s obvious that he was meant to come across as dreamy and introspective, but instead he just seemed whiny. He simply lacks the charisma required to makes us care about his angst, unlike, say, Lloyd Dobbler in Say Anything.

I expected a little more from Jennifer Love Hewitt after her performance in I Know What You Did Last Summer, but she was surprisingly dull, too; the most interesting thing about her was the fact that the kid sitting next to me in the theater honked a blowhorn every time she appeared on screen. Hewitt’s job in this movie is to look pretty, which she does well, but that’s about all she does.

Luckily, there’s enough action going on around Amanda and Preston to keep us from being bored for too long. The bizarre romance that blossoms when Denise Fleming (Lauren Embrose of In & Out), Preston’s cynical, sarcastic friend, gets locked in a bathroom with homeboy wanna-be Kenny Fisher (Seth Green, who played Scott Evil in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery) is one of the high points in the movie. Charlie Korsmo (Men Don’t Leave, Hook), who transforms (briefly) from a bitter nerd Hell-bent on revenge to a Heavy Metal singing legend, creates some Cheesy Teen Movie classic moments.

Another strength of the movie is the huge number of snapshot references to pop culture: there’s a band member who looks a little too much like Hootie for comfort, a girl who sits in the corner cutting up plastic six-pack holders and saying “You are all sheep! Sheep!” to passers-by, and a glimpse at the dark underbelly of the X-Files fanbase. There are enough of these little gems to make the movie fun to watch, but since the main characters leave something to be desired, the movie doesn’t quite reach ideal Cheesy Teen Movie status. It’s a pretty good imitation, but I’d say you’re better off renting one of the classics.