Graffic Traffic

It’s not the Heat… It’s the Sweaty People…

by Ryk McIntyre

Somehow, and don’t quote me on this, but Summer and Image Comics are two tastes that… gravitate towards one another. As I said, don’t quote me… Honestly, I don’t understand why Image hasn’t taken the hint from the respectably successful Spawn movie (it came out last summer, around the time of the bitchin’ soundtrack), but no doubt they soon will… they soon will… they gotta. There’s money in it. Anyway, to their credit, they send us about one of everything, every month, for possible review. I wish DC and some others would do that. Wait. Let me rephrase that slightly…

Anyway, from amongst this month’s Image bounty comes a full-color, non-superhero book, Bohos (Maggie Whoff: the writing on the wall; Byron Penaranda: the pictures in your head), and it’s rather charming in an “I never went to Lollapalooza, but here’s a comic book just like it!” kind of way. Actually, it deserves better than that smarmy intro. It’s an actual story, not everything is supplied for you in the exposition, and all this by combining four young friends going to a big concert, a flirtation that promises more to come, a riot, and some TV exposure for our crew. Plus, the book features a conspicuous PSA about breast cancer, and it prints a bunch of stuff emailed in by young teens. So though it’s probably not even intended for someone as aged as myself, I still like it. I hope it’s not just a one-shot in the wind. I’d like to know more about these people.Next, I read the first two issues of the Degen-X vampire story, Crimson (Cliffhanger/Brian Augustyn: words, Humberto (Impulse, Young Justice) Ramos: pencils, Sandra Hope: inks), which has a kind of Rolling Stone/Interview With The Vampire approach, but, y’know… it’s fun. FUN! Colorful, eye-catching Ameri-Anime, and bloody! Plus, check out the bad vampire who wears tops designed by Wendy O. Willams… y’know… before she crossed over.

If you like “Good Girl” art, (trace its venerable roots back through Vargas, pin-up girls, and Hollywood posters, you’ll discover its source, its raison-d’etre: some guys are just too embarrassed to buy real porno), you should buy Danger Girl (another Cliffhanger title with J. Scott Campbell as the guy with the babealicious art, and Andy Hartnell, who wrote the thing, which is why he’s listed second). Incidentally, they both created and plotted the thing, too. Spy-Babes abound in Bond-esque action, and check out the babe in the formal-wear on page 15. If you’re into guys, check out the Sean Connery drawing on page 9. Ooooh! I’m getting creamy now, just looking both ways before crossing Love Street! Puff pastries for everybody.

I’ll be honest, I don’t keep a tight scope on this next book, but why is it that every time I pick up a copy of Spawn (Todd McFarlane & whoever else He’s hired), while I don’t know exactly what’s going on, it still seems to fit into what vague story I remember. Yeah, yeah, there’s this coming war between Heaven and Hell, and a Hell-Spawn yet yearns Heavenward (we know this) and… Incidentally, does all this stuff count when we go see Spawn II, and is there a test at the end of it?

Much more interesting is Warren Ellis’s deconstruction of StormWatch (Bryan Hitch and Paul Neary do the Art). I understand that this all leads into the ending of the title, and that cinema’s Aliens has a lot to do with it… I could be wrong, I read a lot of books… I’ll read Warren’s post-SW title just cause he writes it.

Also worth a look-see is CodeBlue (a well-done b/w by Jimmie Robinson) which tells of a city with great class division where hospitals vary in health-care quality according to the socioeconomic location. Y’know, a real work of fiction.

From DC, we have the “disappointing given its pedigree” Doctor 13 (Vertigo/Matt Howarth: writng: Howarth, Deming, Costanza: art), a one-shot that tries to update the old Dr. 13/The Ghost Breaker character into the Cyber Age. The problem is, it works too well, alienating the character from what made it fun. Back in the sixties, DC had a number of horror comics, and Dr. 13 was the debunker of false ghosts, mystics, seances, etc. Neil Gaiman used him well in a cameo in the Books of Magic mini-series (available in trade paperback and worth picking up), but then that’s Neil. The plot follows an AI (actually, a lot of AIs) seeking out one of their number who is evil, and, I think, driving Dr. 13 mad. Or else, he is mad already, and besides, his marriage is crumbling and he’s a big jerk, so at no point did I much care what happened to him. For $5.95, I wanted more than this, maybe at least one real fake ghost. As good as he is at hifi-scifi, I think Mr. Howarth wrote a good story and then tried to fit Dr. 13 into it.

Similarly, the Legends of the DC Universe 80 Page Giant (various writers and artists) disappoints as it attempts to recapture the feel of those giant summer anthology titles and some old, classic characters, right down to style-apeing the clumsy writing and primitive art. The HawkMan/HawkWoman story is enough to have you swear off humans as a species.

Better you should save your money on the last two and use it to go buy the first three issues of Frank Miller’s latest standard-setting historical masterpiece 300 (Dark Horse). Frank retells the story of Thermmopylae, where approximately 300 Spartans held off a vastly out-numbering Persian army bent on conquering Greece. From his distilled-down-to-its-essence writing and art (the latter made so organic by Lynn Varley’s color that you can smell the sweat. Smells like victory…), Frank does another Dark Knight score, rendering instantly to life what otherwise would just be printed on a page. Whereas sometimes recently his Sin City stuff has kinda lost its focus, 300 just charges out of the gate. It’s only a five-part story and careful…you might learn something.

Of course, if you wanna giggle over how Marvel (whom Frank Miller has sworn off) still tries to bank on his innovative Daredevil-period art, checkout the one-shot SpiderMan-Made Men (Howard Mackie: story, Norman Felche: art) in which Ben Urich, the reporter from both SpiderMan and Daredevil, tracks the histories, rivalries, friends, enemies, and identities of the significant underworld characters of Marvel’s New York. It’s set against the return of the KingPin and the havoc he wreaks on a shifting hierarchy that includes Fortunato, Silvermane, The Rose, Norman (The Green Goblin) Osborne, HammerHead, and a couple others. It dares to have SpiderMan as not even a supporting character, just a walk-on in maybe six panels overall. The story is solid entertainment, but, again, that art… Norman Felche seems to trace back through Scott McDaniels, who, of course, tracks right back to Frank. They say it’s the sincerest form of flattery, but imitation should strive for the original’s power, not ape its most common characteristics.

Lastly, and I recommend this title as often as I do as much for its quality as for the fact that I need to get off it and not sound so grumpy, Naughty Bits #26 (Fantagraphics/ Roberta Gregory: layin’ down the law and drawin’ the lines) is as good as ever, and even better. This is the issue where BitchyBitch finally gets laid, and gets laid goooood. Not that her life, her job, and her co-workers change or improve at all, but at least she’s gettin’ some good sweatin’.

Sometimes that’s more than enough…