Space Invaders

(Activision for PlayStation)
by Shane Yeager

Video Game or Bad Flashback to 1978?

Remember when Space Invaders was cutting-edge technology? No? Yeah, I feel old. Well, back in the old days when a peanut farmer was in the White House and Britney Spears’ parents were probably still in senior high, the best the video game industry had to offer was row after row of identical aliens slowly advancing towards a little blob at the bottom of the screen that could occasionally shoot at them. Activision decided that this revolutionary concept needed an update for the ’90s. That’s right, the same people who resurrected Pitfall Harry proudly present Space Invaders. This time you’ve got color, decent sound, and powerful weapons to take out the bad guys. 100 levels of mindless alien butt is waiting to be kicked, and on top of that, alien bosses greet you every time you get to the end of a level. You’re still a blob (OK, a tank-shaped blob) at the bottom of the screen, and can only move left or right in traditional shooter format, but by shooting four aliens of the same color in a row, you get a power weapon, such as a Laser Blast, Acid Cloud, or Swarm Missiles. Each level’s aliens have special powers to annoy you, but for the most part, Space Invaders‘ aliens are still the static wait-for-the-laser-blast please-shoot-me-in-the-head variety made popular in 1978. Once you’ve finished saving Earth in 1999, you unlock the classic version, identical to the stand-up video game right down to the cute little mistakes made on the intro screens.

Problem is, the new game is just too easy for older gamers, and the younger players haven’t even heard of Space Invaders and couldn’t distinguish this game from the dozens of other shooters on the market today. The power weapons you gain with minimal planning can destroy such a large amount of the alien force that you can wipe out an entire screen in seconds. The force of numbers, the aliens’ only real weapon against you, is irrelevant when you can shoot once and half the bad guys disappear. Bosses have little real power, and are quite predictable. The two-player option is even worse; the aliens don’t get harder to kill or any more numerous, yet you get double the firepower. It’s as if Activision wants you to get to the classic version without too much of a problem. The bright spot is the classic game. If you remember the original, you’ll love the flashback down memory lane. Plus, the 1978 version is a ton more challenging.

So if you feel like dropping $40 to feel like it’s the late ’70s, pick up Space Invaders and see if your reflexes were better two decades ago. Otherwise, get a bad haircut, an ABBA album, and send me the change.