Zimmers Hole

Legion of Flames (HevyDevy)
by Scott Hefflon

I love Zimmers Hole! Mind-numbing brutality and a sense of humor, what’s not to like? Jed Simon and Byron Stroud are in Strapping Young Lad (and SYL’s Devin Townsend produced and kicked in some vox/guitar/keys/samples), so that’ll either point ya in the right direction, or letcha know you got some research to do, buddy. Basically, Zimmers Hole pay humorous tribute to styles and specific bands, meaning they can match the originals in most ways, and exaggerate to the point of absurdity. And when you’re talking about matching Cradle of Filth, King Diamond and too many thrash and hard rock classics to name or isolate, you have to be pretty damn good’n’versatile, ya know? And ZH are.

“Death to the Dodgers of Soap” is pretty straight-up, “Re-Anaconda” is cheesy falsetto layering at its finest with lines like “ride the snake, no escape” to remind you of the daze of, like, Metal Church. “Evil Robots” is a one-minute Metallica swipe, playing the riff from “Master of Puppets,” but replacing the lyric with “Napster, Napster, Where’s the cash that I’ve been after?” to rabid fan cheering. Every metal band on Earth should work this joke into their set. And while I don’t get “Rock Move 47,” the final 25 seconds is pummeling “Chromatic Death” with a pitchshifted demon that sounds like a pissed off mosquito ranting about an elephant or something. I like. Then comes the crowd-pleasing “Jesus Built My Hotrod”-esque distortobilly of “1000 Miles of Cock.” The less you know about this one-minute quickie, the better. And ditto with the, ahem, fist-pumping “Sodomanaz.” The addition of the “now you’re messing with a… a sonuvabitch” to the sing-songy “Doggy Style” is classic. “Mushroom Mattress” combines crazy falsetto, chugging brothers-in-metal anthemry, and pounding death metal in a song about, uh, pissing in your bed. But it’s got that “whoa-oh-oh-OH” Bruce Dickenson thing, so it’s a metal bonding thing. Or something. That’s followed by “Satan is a Gay Porn Star,” sung in pseudo-Spanish cuz that’s the way Brujeria woulda done it. And they close out this 20-song mindfuck with “The Death of the Resurrection of the Death of Metal.” It’s nine minutes long cuz there’s some hidden bonus material including an update of Simon & Garfunkle’s “Silent Night” (S&G singing sweetly over Vietnam war TV coverage), this one being a sweet female voice singing “Amazing Grace” as ZH gibbers death metal pointlessness (“rabble, rabble, whaAAAaaah!” being a sample lyric) and, uh, some other stuff too.
(www.hevydevy.com)