Custom – Fast – Review


Fast (Artist Direct)
by Scott Hefflon

Do we really live in such a pussified era that a single about liking young girls (presumably being a teenage boy yourself) is cause to get your panties in a bunch? Evidently. It’s probably the same tight-assed conservatives who get their panties in a bunch over pretty much anything that looks like it might be fun, seeing as they must’ve been denied the pleasure when they were young (or simply didn’t have the balls to step up and accept the consequences of having fun), but I grew up when W.A.S.P. wanted to fuck Tipper Gore’s daughter like a beast, so wanting to lick someone’s daughter like ice cream is, to me, quite a sweet sentiment. But my panties aren’t easily bunched… Hell, listen to “Steal Your Beer” off Sloppy Second’s Destroyed which tells the story of being invited to crash at some underage girl’s house after a show and leaving a thank you note to the parents for unwittingly allowing them to “fuck your daughter, wreck your home, call long distance on your phone, eat up all your food and steal your beer.” That song came out (on Metal Blade, believe it or not) in ’94 but was written earlier, I believe, and honestly, rock bands have been fucking young girls since, uh, they were able to, and getting all worked up about it simply brings attention to the “We’re not Going to Take It” mentality, and man, do you really wanna be responsible for a Twisted Sister/Quiet Riot resurgence? Please parents, find a different cause to make you feel better about what failures you’ve allowed yourselves to become!

Custom, oh, pleasant slacker rap with some decent lyrics and insights, good for roadtrips and such, but I thought that about Block and that guy/band went nowhere. I still listen to songs from that CD, just like I’ll listen to songs off this years from now and wonder why the world still likes gaudy, shitty music more than sincere, straight-up stuff like this… Chill, easy-going beats, light rapping about Life, the Universe and Everything You Can Make A Bong Out Of In A Pinch, and hopefully some good friends to share it with.