Idle Chatter – Column

October 1, 1995

Here’s an update on the post-CBS whereabouts of The Kids in the Hall’s Kevin McDonald . He’s been spotted, in… uh… National Lampoon’s Senior Trip.

Mediacrity! – Column

October 1, 1995

The word has come down from the powers that be: There are no more stand-up comedians left to give to sitcoms to.

Prelude to a Lick – Column

October 1, 1995

People think I’m a mean, insensitive, anal-retentive, arrogant guy. Actually, I’m a misunderstood, sensitive, artist type, I’m just not usually drawn that way.

Support Your Local Scene, My Ass! – Rant

October 1, 1995

Why is it considered cool to find existence so stressful? “My Pain, my Pain!” Yeah, rent sucks. “My Pain, my Pain!” Why don’t you shut up and get on with it?

Reefer Blandness – Fiction

October 1, 1995

It was widely believed back then that marijuana would kick open the doors of perception, a sort of spiritual steroid that could jump-start the divine spark.

Music Theory: It’s Just That- Fiction

October 1, 1995

Over hundreds of years, the modes of Ionian and Aolian were found to be the most stable and were used almost exclusively. They became known as major and minor.

Mall Maven – Fiction

October 1, 1995

Over the summer, I applied for a job at The Sharper Image, thinking, “This is cool, I’ll wear a tie and play with toys in air-conditioning.”

Hair Rant – Fiction

October 1, 1995

It’s pretty much the ideal cartoon girl. Her hair is in the Pippi Longstocking-esque pigtails, and her eyes and mouth are both colored chocolate-brown.

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