Lollipop Magazine

Translations: I was lost in translation, but now I’m found – Fiction

November 1, 1998

After being translated into French, back into English, into Portugese, and back again into English: “For effleure external of the adventure, I will admit…”

Barbarians on the Potomic – Fiction

September 1, 1998

There will be great gnashing of teeth should this spectacle result in impeachment. Many bemoan the black stain which will soil the Presidency.

I Left Both Earth and the 20th Century – Fiction

September 1, 1998

In two years, barring a nuclear flare-up of the kind said to have destroyed the humans in Planet of the Apes, all of us will leave the 20th century behind.

Garbage Pail – In The Age of Cloning – Column

September 1, 1998

In The Age of Cloning: Mary Lou Reed

37,000 Feet Over Salina, KS – Fiction

April 1, 1998

“Nonsense, don’t you know that more people die in maulings by half-starved mountain lions than die in plane wrecks?”

Dynagroove – Column

April 1, 1998

This column is devoted to cheap record buys. I figured I’d inflict my garage sale and thrift store vinyl buys on you folk by reviewing the best of the bunch.

Prelude to a Lick – The Editor’s Rant – Column

April 1, 1998

The rumors are true (except for the part about the goldfish, fur-lined gloves, bowling shoes, and a device known as “The Helmet”): Lollipop is going quarterly.

Going Down the Road Feeling Bad – Part V: Ze Final Installment – Fiction

March 1, 1998

Fifty or more humans standing clustered about the Wisdom’s Maw booth, and nary a one with commercial intent, as the band begins play…

Going Down the Road Feeling Bad – Part IV – Fiction

December 1, 1997

“You’ve never seen Muslims before, Richard?”
“Well, yeah,” he returns, “…but not WHITE chicks. Look at ’em!”

Going Down the Road Feeling Bad – Part III – Fiction

November 1, 1997

I stare idly out the passenger window, at a barefoot, grinning, dancing fool of vaguely Rastafarian extraction, whose chest is slick with so many days’ toil.