Fiction – Page 9 – Lollipop Magazine

Down on the Farm – Part II – Fiction

September 1, 1998

“He refuses to rhyme his verse. It’s a big ‘fuck-you’ to the rest of these yokels. Jack Laroue’s famous,” she insisted. “He was a Rhodes scholar out of Yale.”

The Compilation Tape Commandments – Fiction

September 1, 1998

Make no mistake about it, the fine art of making a compilation tape is a surprisingly complex process that requires a bit of thought and discipline.

Barbarians on the Potomic – Fiction

September 1, 1998

There will be great gnashing of teeth should this spectacle result in impeachment. Many bemoan the black stain which will soil the Presidency.

In Search of the Point – The Mind is a Terrible Thing to use as Paste – Fiction

September 1, 1998

“Since most people’s imaginations are confined to their own heads, and mine seems to have a radius of approximately 20 feet, I guess I can live with that.”

I Left Both Earth and the 20th Century – Fiction

September 1, 1998

In two years, barring a nuclear flare-up of the kind said to have destroyed the humans in Planet of the Apes, all of us will leave the 20th century behind.

This Mortal Boils – Fiction

September 1, 1998

Nothing like coming across as a purple-haired, snot-nosed, bratty punk at the tender age of thirty. What do you like, ya big sourpuss? And that’s the thing…

In Search of the Point – Part Two: Zentropy and the Art of Pearly Gate Crashing – Fiction

April 1, 1998

“What’s going on, Fejod?” He asked the top of Fejod’s head. It was a dumb question, but it would’ve been dumber if he’s asked someone named Bill the question.

Down On The Farm – Part 1 – Fiction

April 1, 1998

An editor from Salt Lake City magazine was on the line, wanting to send me to Jackson Hole, Wyoming, for five days, everything paid and nothing due in return.

37,000 Feet Over Salina, KS – Fiction

April 1, 1998

“Nonsense, don’t you know that more people die in maulings by half-starved mountain lions than die in plane wrecks?”

Movies Inappropriately Renamed by the Canadian Motion Picture Association – Fiction

April 1, 1998

Canadian: Le Revenge Du Jack. American: The Nightmare Before Christmas. Canadian: Les Dents De La Muerte. American: Jaws.