Opie

November 10, 2019

Art by Opie

Prelude to a Lick – Going National – Column

December 1, 1995

I’d love to tell you it’s been a dozen or more roses making a shitload of copies of Lollipop and then dropping them off he way most people put out their trash.

Radio Ga-Ga – Fiction

November 1, 1995

I miss the Third World dictators we propped up to save the world from Soviet expansionism. Ever since the Berlin Wall came down, life just hasn’t been the same.

Animals – Fiction

November 1, 1995

There is less hypocrisy in chopping rats in half than in ordering a pate de fucking foie gras at some inanely insanely expensive restaurant.

Support Your Local Scene, My Ass! – Rant

October 1, 1995

Why is it considered cool to find existence so stressful? “My Pain, my Pain!” Yeah, rent sucks. “My Pain, my Pain!” Why don’t you shut up and get on with it?

Reefer Blandness – Fiction

October 1, 1995

It was widely believed back then that marijuana would kick open the doors of perception, a sort of spiritual steroid that could jump-start the divine spark.

Music Theory: It’s Just That- Fiction

October 1, 1995

Over hundreds of years, the modes of Ionian and Aolian were found to be the most stable and were used almost exclusively. They became known as major and minor.

How To Start Your Own Zine – Part IV: You gotta know when to fold ’em – Fiction

June 1, 1995

Everyone cried and hugged one another, particularly Max Hedon and Sister Columbo, and without further ado, took the money.

How to Start Your Own Zine – Part III: Schleppin’ Wolf – Fiction

May 1, 1995

While following the Pekinese on his morning rounds, they learned, through parables, the three primary steps of distribution: The sniff, the drop, and the bark.

How To Start Your Own Zine – Part II: Exploitation of the Proletariat – Fiction

April 1, 1995

Unlike those in more sane occupations, like meat packing and auto undercoating, artistic workers cannot be controlled with promises of higher pay or better hours.