Patrick Timony | Lollipop Magazine

Dear Editor – Fiction

June 1, 1996

I am a small fat troll of an old lady who enjoys waddling down subway platforms in front of educated, good-looking, productive, and adjective-obsessed young men.

Pigeons – Fiction

March 1, 1996

Pigeons gave me insights into many things, but above all, they were fun. I would reward the good ones, punish the bad ones, and protect all of them.

Prostitute – Fiction

September 1, 1995

I just found out my friend Gloria is a prostitute. She’s an energetic, beautiful 21-year-old with a quick wit and bubbling laugh. And a night job.

Upside Down Guitar Man in the Land of the Rising Sun – Fiction

May 1, 1995

The police picked me up in Ginza, the expensive shopping district, for playing my guitar upside down on the street. None of the officers spoke English.

The Diamond Rams Club – Fiction

February 1, 1995

“If you’re ever in trouble, call that number,” he said. With his Spanish, it came out as “If you turn left at the chicken babies, then I wanted to dance.”

Pee – Fiction

December 1, 1994

Maybe I should just go out, whizz, pay again to get back in, and write the 85 cents off as an education in urinary time schedule management.