The Culture Bunker – Page 3 – Lollipop Magazine

The Culture Bunker – Fiction

April 1, 1996

The cellblock was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. The warden swung around angrily. “Awright, who dropped that pin? Somebody spoiling to be expurgated?”

The Culture Bunker – Fiction

March 1, 1996

I was relaxing in my hyperbolic chamber, when, through the triple-density Perplexiglas and clogged whimsy filter, I heard a muffled knock at my door.

The Culture Bunker – Fiction

February 1, 1996

The Royal Shakespeare and Traveling Wet-Nurse Repertory Theatre has mounted a series of the Bard’s greatest works, subtly rewritten for the adult market.

The Culture Bunker – Fiction

December 1, 1995

Virgil is gone. So is my illegitimate brother, Sliced. His absence is like a gaping void where once there was a void that didn’t gape nearly as much.

The Culture Bunker – Fiction

November 1, 1995

Dex has been stockpiling assault weapons and yellow highlighting pens, preparing us for the Day of the Final Draft.

The Culture Bunker – Fiction

October 1, 1995

I am running out of time to write the Great American Youth-Angst Novel. So, I put all of my protruding organs to their respective grindstones.

The Culture Bunker – Fiction

September 1, 1995

Our politically-astute production manager gave me two passes to Disgraceland, the home of Richard Milhouse Nixon, one of our nation’s 42 greatest presidents.

The Culture Bunker – Fiction

July 1, 1995

He scanned the titles: “The Rhyme of the Ancient Marinara.” “It was the best of times – ah, no it wasn’t.” “Brother, Can You Paradigm?” Inspiration struck.

The Culture Bunker – Goes To New York Part III: The Inciting Contusion – Fiction

June 1, 1995

I could tell we were getting nearer Fox’s fortress by the growing sound of jungle drum machines in the distance. That and the heads strewn around the corridor.

The Culture Bunker – Goes To New York – Part Two: The Second Part- Fiction

May 1, 1995

There are few things quite as electric as the last few moments before a live broadcast, although urinating on a malfunctioning power generator comes close.