Coroner’s Corner
by John Bikowski
illustration by Andi
Finally! Dead Alive, “The zombie film to end all zombie films,” will be hitting video stores any day now. I warned you in issue #1, and I must say that every bit of hype is true! The film is extremely funny and redder and wetter than any other film previously committed to celluloid. You know those dreams where a barrage of screwed up stuff happens that is normally beyond the scope of your waking thought process? Well, director Peter Jackson had one of those dreams, and it’s all here for us to enjoy.
The story is basically a love story gone sour due to the untimely arrival of the Devil Rat of Sumatra at the local zoo. Our main hero’s mother wanders too close to the cage, has her forearm gnawed down to the bone by the infectious beast, and then, PRESTO!, the zombification begins. Not to give too much away, things soon kick into high gear with spurting craniums, ninja priests, an intelligent intestinal tract, a hilariously ugly zombie baby, complete eviscerations, and a godzilla-sized mutant mother. Top the festivities off with such howlers like, “Your mother just ate my dog!!” and you have an instant gore classic!
To keep things in the knee-slappin’, head-loppin’ mode, consider the next review of another Peter Jackson film that is required viewing.
Bad Taste: This movie has something in it for everyone. Gaping brain cavities, chainsaw lobotomies, cannibalism, blue-brule-barfing, and amputations of every major limb you can think of. Thankfully, every bit of gore is shown! Too bad many of the colors are a bit washed out, but that’s a minor gripe. Besides the incredible tongue-in-cheek violence, the film is also hilarious. See a sheep blown to dust by misfired atomic warhead. See a guy burrow his way down through an aliens head and come out his butt… chainsaw first. See a bisected loser try and defend himself by hurling pine cones at his assailant. See six-foot tall E.T.-look-alike, silly-putty men who have come to our planet to use us as fast food delicacy in outer space. Keep an eye out for Peter Jackson, the multi-talented director/producer/effects man, in his dual role as Derek (who’s a couple glops short of a brain) and Robert (the bearded moron who slits his own throat). In short, see the classic film!
Another gore-comedy that deserves to be seen is Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn. This pseudo-sequel to the Evil Dead, a scary classic, is again directed by Sam Raimi and again stars Ash, the abused hero from Part I. This sequel is not a continuation, but an over-the-top, bigger budgeted remake of the original story. Again, we have Canadian Wood Demons possessing the hapless folks who manage to get stranded in a secluded cabin. However, this time the excessive violence has a comedic twist making this one of the ultimate party tapes! Look for a giant demon’s orbited eyeball which comes to rest in a screaming woman’s open mouth. Look for a possessed hand putting a major Three-Stooges-style beating on its non-possessed owner. Another highlight is the extreme laughing fit of a victim, a mounting moosehead, and several household adornments. Followed most recently by the sequel, Army of Darkness, which is better suited for those in the 10-15 age range.
With the holiday season upon us, I thought I would remind you to watch, Silent Night, Deadly Night, the once banned Santa slash-a-thon that’s not quite as disgusting as many think. It still manages to deliver the goods though. Gore highlights include a slow impalement on a pair of antlers and a fun little ride in the snow that ends in decapitation. Followed by several pathetically inept sequels of which Part 4: The Initiation, is the only one worth seeing.
