Coroner’s Corner
by John Bikowski
illustration by Bob Butman
Good evening. In case you’re curious about recent video releases, don’t worry about it. At the top of the list is the throwback to 50’s monster flicks called Ticks. Sounds like another toxic waste disaster. Oh no… more crappy sequels. Stay away from Leprechaun 2 and Night of the Demons II. Your best bet for a horror film this month is Schindler’s List.
Judging by the flood of the aforementioned duds currently available in most video stores, it is again time to journey up the anals of history to spotlight a “brilliant” director. Even though Lucio Fulci has been a prolific “hack” director spanning several genres, his best received work has been Italian Splatter films. Following is a brief synopsis of a few of his gruesome epics. Warning: These films are by no means masterpieces. Fulci’s work contains putrid dubbing, irritating close-ups and plot holes you could fly a plane through. However, upon viewing the following films, you just may develop a liking for such things. I certainly have.
House by the Cemetery
(84 min / Vestron)
A researcher moves into an old house just outside of Boston. While following up on a colleague’s suicide, he moves his wife and young son in with him. The son has some psychic connection to a weird little red head who warns him about the house. The family plays dumb and then subjected to a bloody bat attack and a rampage from a flesh-sucking ghoul who lives in the basement. The zombie’s name is Dr. Fruedstein, and he needs body parts to rejuvenate his cells. One of his nagging problems is that when he is stabbed, yellow pus and maggots pour out. Director Fulci also delights us with a neck tearing and multiple stabbings that end in the eruption of a woman’s jugular. Though this is one of Fulci’s more restrained works, he still goes way over the top with his murders. One example is when the babysitter Ann has her neck cut, not once, not twice, but three agonizing times in close-up. One major problem that I had was with the little boy named Bob. His voice drove me nuts all the way through the flick. Especially when he screams, “Mommy! Mommy! I’m scared!” Scary indeed folks.
The Gates of Hell
(93 min / Paragon)
In Dunwich, a pale-mugged priest hangs himself from a tree, thereby opening the titular gates to hell. Well, so much for plot. This film has some truly sickening moments. With the gates open, the priest is back possessing people, causing zombies to go-a-ripping. Make sure you aren’t eating anything during the scene where the girl in the truck begins bleeding from her eyes. If you disobey, then you may simultaneously lose your lasagna as she loses all her innards. That’s right, she pukes up her intestines, stomach, and a kidney or two. Fulci said the actress actually swallowed sheep guts and barfed them on cue. Another numbing moment involves John Morghen (my favorite Italian nut case). This poor guy has his head slowly punctured by a rather large drill in loving close-up. All my admiration goes to anyone who can explain the ending to me.
Demonia
This film benefits greatly from the surroundings of Sicily. Flashbacks show us that some slutty, evil nuns are crucified by a group of villagers. Many moons later, a group of excavators come upon the scene and stir things up. People begin to get eviscerated by unseen killers, but we know it’s the ghosts of the nuns. In one scene, a man is grabbed by the legs and torn right up the middle causing his entrails to plop to the ground. Another disgusto scene shows in graphic detail a band of rabid, possessed cats ripping a woman’s eye sockets clean.
