Prelude to a Lick – Column

Prelude to a Lick

by Scott Hefflon
illustration by Kathleen Weller

March. Winter’s almost over and we’re all getting serious cabin fever from being cooped up in the damn house all winter. Last month’s party was nuttier than ever, complete with Banks riding my life-sized Bogie (R.I.P., thanks to Kev) like a hobbie-horse. No one remembered to pass in their stuff, but then again, I forgot to ask… Ms. Starbuck failed to show up, as usual, but she did kick the shit out of me the next night. She made up for it by writing a kick ass piece that, as usual, is going to get me in trouble. On that note (sly transition, huh?), our Love Issue certainly got some response. Many were legible, and a few even had some points of interest. But not many.

One thing I’d like to clarify: Of course you haven’t heard of every band in these pages. Our basic premise (a fancy way of saying “the excuse we have for doing this”) is to cover all the new “alternative” bands out there. Alternapop, punk, ska, anything that ends -core, industrial-techno-metal-sludge, or anything that starts with the word heavy – we’ll cover it. Even if you don’t know the band, you oughta skim the review. Maybe the band’s the next big thing. Maybe the writer has some catch-phrases you can throw out in conversation and sound witty. Maybe not.

Finally, we have some new stuff in the works. It’s 1995 and it’s about damn time we went interactive. More on that next time… We also have a new column (hopefully) starting next issue: The Theory of Negativity. Y’all are welcome to slam any new release or band that just came around live. Don’t do old stuff, ’cause no one cares. One or two sentences of totally slamming a band that everyone else is gushing over… It’s all anonymous. Have your say, send a couple lines to us. Don’t let the Major Publishers tell you what you oughta like.

I try to inspire “non-practicing” writers and artists to express themselves. It’s entirely easier for me to use “professionals” because they know what a deadline is. But I don’t want only them, I want you. Just fucking do it.

Lick me.