A Few of My Favorite Things – Column

A Few of My Favorite Things

by Kerry Joyce

Favorite Ex-Beatle

Pete Best – The drummer before Ringo, he’s the only one who permanently avoids the stage and recording studio.

Favorite Way To Die

Lung Cancer – It beats death at an early age from a nicotine withdrawal induced suicide.

Favorite Dead American Writer

Truman Capote – Often imitated but never surpassed by Tom Wolfe or Norman Mailer.

Favorite Living American Writer

None – How can I miss you when you won’t go away?

Favorite sticky carpet movie classic

Anything that combines Phoebe Cates and an “R” rating. Most particularly Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Favorite Ethnic Cuisine

Thai – Can I have extra peanut sauce with that, please?

Favorite Bodily Function

Speech – Shut me up if you’ve heard this one.

Favorite TV Show

Gilligan’s Island – As richly profound as anything by Homer, and with more staying power.

Favorite script writer

You don’t want to know. Quentin rules, you jealous fucks. If only he were a recluse.

Favorite Novel

The Damned by Fyodor Dostoyevsky – Make the effort to read it, and you’ll know why you’re such a loser.