Lollipop Magazine

Mental Shrapnel: Before They Were Famous – Column

June 28, 2006

Lollipop has a long history of making fun of stupid people, stupid trends, over-hyped movies, TV shows, bands, and anything else we see.

Icon, Divas, and Hoes – Fiction

October 15, 2003

As a highly-compensated taker of the national pulse, I decided to let rip a page out of the New York Times playbook, it being an icon of news journalism, and retained the services of an unkempt, boorish, flatulent but capable and unpaid intern.

Hello Kitty, Goodbye! – Fiction

April 1, 2000

The Japanese stock market crashed in ’98, and now Japan doesn’t seem quite so threatening. Japan is blessedly back in, while China, already guilty of being big, populous, and powerful, has only exacerbated matters by behaving in a way that is indiscreet to the point of boldness.

The World Turned Upside (Again) – Fiction

January 1, 2000

It’s possible, then, that people in the year 3K might look back and say, “You know, those people back in the year 2000 were a bunch of fuckin’ douche bags, but look at this article here. This guy Ham seemed to’ve evolved himself into a sort of non-ape.”

The Matrix – Review

September 1, 1999

Kind of like The Truman Show, except only a few dozen rebels are in on the gag. It’s not a complete paradise. It seems we need a certain amount of misery.

A Moment’s Piece – Fiction

June 1, 1999

Most crouched fearful and dying in crumbling basements, under mattresses and couch cushions, wailing and bewildered, but a handful of the once proud and strongest as if summoned staggered beaten and bewildered to the lake shore. … You’re going to be late for work if you don’t hurry up. … I know.