So You Wanna Be A Rock n’ Roll Compilation

(Bitzcore)
by Joshua Brown

An unconceptualized collection of new and not-so-new songs from imageless bands. There are no punk pin-up boys to be found. Mostly older guys whose youthful vim was thrashed out of them more than a decade ago yet are condemned to play the same chords and hooks to a diminished audience. If they were gonna try their hand at flaccid pop or new wave like a lot of their associates did, they would have done so a long time ago. The upside is that these guys have had a lot of practice at shaping a punk ditty. The downside is that a lot has happened since 1984.

Moving on, let’s introduce the bands involved: Slime, from Germany, are one of the best in the voluminous Blitzcore library. What’s good about them is their sound has that element of danger in it, like a riot might break out any minute. Next, for appreciators of classic melodic hardcore, the Zero Boys were masters of it. Flag of Democracy have always cornered the rock ‘n’ roll epilepsy market. The rest of it kinda went by me without leaving much impression, though in most cases I’ve enjoyed at least some of the band’s stuff if not so much what they’ve included here.

The others are Alloy (Fugazi with feedback), NRA (with Dave Smalley-ish vocals), Sister Goddamn (hard rock-ish, but not un-punk), Apt. 3G (who sound like Poison Idea except for their embarrassing attempt at doo-wop), Tony Adolescent and ADZ (seen better days), Cock Sparrer (ditto), and Flower Leperds.