Cradle of Thorns – Download This – Review

Cradle of Thorns

Download This (Triple X)
by J. Lianna Ness

“Alternative” has become such a dirty word because it no longer denotes an alternative to anything. However, Cradle of Thorns lives up to the original meaning of the word. They’re the alternative to everything. If I had to cite the influences I heard on this disc, I’d say Clawfinger, Faith No More, Beastie Boys, Body Count, and Metallica. The singer sounds like James Hetfield. And that still doesn’t come close to describing what they sound like. The disc opens with “We Came 2 Wreck Everything,” which is a sample quote taken from the film Romper Stomper (“We came to wreck everything… including your life. God sent us.”). From there it launches into “Picture Perfect,” a rap set to creepy orchestral music accompanied by loud electric guitar buzz. “1 Eyed 1 Formed Blind Consuming People Eater” is not a parody of the famous song you’re thinking of, just a sarcastic stab at the title. The best track is a crazy kick-ass cover of Mötley Crüe’s “Shout At The Devil.” It sounds like Satan himself is singing the chorus as another movie dialogue sample of a girl whining “I wanna party!” loops around it.

This is an oddly compelling disc filled with strange reverbs, samples and effects. Definitely different, it is a must-have if you’re tired of all the mucky pap that’s being passed off as “alternative.” This is the shit right here. I’ve heard their live show is something to be experienced, and I, for one, can’t wait to see what sort of twisted show they put on. Be afraid. Be very afraid.