Supernova – Ages 3 and Up – Interview


Ages 3 and Up (AmRep/Atlantic)
An interview with bassist/vocalist Art Mitchell, guitarist Jodey Lawrence, and drummer Dave Collins
by Joshua Brown

Supernova are the forefathers (or fore-Sea Monkeys) of a music called “space wave.” In Earthling terms, that roughly translates into Devo meets the Dickies (classic, spastic pop meets new wave). They have released a slew of 7″s and an LP that is appropriate for Ages 3 and Up (AmRep/Atlantic). This daring interviewer of extraterrestrials met up with them after their gig at T.T. the Bear’s, and I can assure you that, to the best of my knowledge, everything you’re about to read is 100% true. As Joey says, “just take Supernova’s word for it.”

What should people understand about Oreos?
Joey: They have creamy insides.

Art: They’re like teeny little UFOs.

They’d be identified if we knew they were Oreos.
Joey: That’s right, they’d be IFOs

Art: Or OFOs.

Have you figured out perpetual motion yet?
Dave: All perpetual motion goes toward Joey’s butthole.

Joey: And comes from Dave’s.

Can Cynots mate with humans? First off, is “Cynots” the right terminology for your species?
Everyone: Cynotians.

OK, can Cynotians mate with humans?
Joey: No, we’re like GI Joe dolls.

So you have no genitalia?
Joey: Smooth. Totally smooth.

How do you reproduce? Do you split in half like amoebas?
Dave: Sea Monkey enemas.

Sea Monkey enemas? How does that work?
Joey: Well, you put Sea Monkeys in the enema, then you shoot ’em up your ass.

And voilá, more Cynotians. Could I make my own Cynotian using this method if I so choose?
Art: We have actual Cynotian Sea Monkeys.

Joey: I mean, you could try, but I can’t guarantee what kind of results you’d get.

Maybe I’d create a new race.
Art: You’d probably just make a lot of diarrhea.

Have you ever abducted an audience member?
Joey: Only for short periods of time. Perform a few tests, then chuck them out the back of the Chinook (the RV that Supernova takes with them on tour). Kinda like what’s gonna happen to you when we’re done with this interview.

Are you gonna run any tests on me?
Joey: Maybe.

Will I be awake for them?
Joey: Have you ever had a physical with both of the doctor’s hands on your shoulders?

Yes. (Laughter) What type of plant life do they have on Cynot 3?
Joey: Tinfoil plants.

Like tinfoil trees, grass, shrubs, etc.?
Joey: Kinda like that. They also have robert plants.

Art: Yeah, the robert plant is the official tree of Cynot 3.

Is it a coincidence that you look a lot like human beings, or do you change yourselves somehow to adapt to life on Earth?
Art: No, we look this way. It’s like your Star Trek, which is basically accurate. All the space creatures look like humans, just with different bump patterns on their foreheads.

And they all speak English, too?
Art: Yeah, like I said, it’s pretty accurate.

What is the set-up of Cynot 3’s political system?
Joey: There is no more Cynot 3. It went supernova.

Excuse me. What was it like?
Joey: King Cy the 10th, is the Emperor of the Cynot system.

Was he voted in?
Dave: No, he was just such a rad juggler that we had to give him the job.

Did he come from a Sea Monkey enema as well?
Joey: (Cryptically) It’s been said that his family line have been the best Cynotian jugglers for all time.

Could you order Sea Monkeys through comic books on Cynot 3?
Art: When a youngster comes of age, the parent hands him a douche full of Sea Monkeys. It’s a lot like a Bar Mitzvah. Then you’re officially ready to procreate.

Joey: Instead of the birds and the bees talking to me, we have the Sea Monkeys and the enemas talk.

What do Cynotians do to record company executives who try to rip you off?
Joey: We give them a colon exam with both hands on their shoulders.

What about magazine writers who give you bad reviews?
Dave: We glue their eyes shut.

Joey: We pull their ears over their mouth and tie ’em in knots.

Who were some of the Cynot bands that influenced the development of Supernova’s sound?
Joey: The Barnum and Baileys.

Dave: Freddie Mercury.

Was he a Cynotian?
Joey: Yes.

Art: Down here, he’s a rock star. Back home, he was a juggling star. We didn’t have rock ‘n’ roll there. It was all about juggling.

Do you like any Earth bands?
Joey: The Presidents of the United States of America.

Are you officially supporting a candidate for ’96?
Joey: I heard Ken Griffey was running. The outfielder for the Seattle Sonics. (Laughter)

Yeah, I heard the linebacker for the Bruins is gonna be on the ticket as well. (Laughter) Do you have any clandestine support from world governments?
Joey: They’ve already given in to our persuasion. It’s a slow process. They’ll eventually introduce us to their peoples, but they already know that we’ve taken over the Earth through rock ‘n’ roll.

Have you run into any problems with the Elks Lodge? Have they tried to stop you at all?
Art: Well, it’s a uniform conflict. They saw that we had cool outfits and tried to copy them, so we had to get a patent.

Are there any gross inaccuracies in our perceptions of the universe? For instance, we used to think the Earth was flat.
Everyone: The universe is flat.

Joey: The Earth is round, but the universe is flat.

How can something be round within something that’s flat?
Joey: You wouldn’t understand it if I explained it to you. Your most advanced form of arithmetic couldn’t even touch on it. Just take Supernova’s word for it.

Art: You can actually fold the universe up and walk away with it.