June 1996 – Page 8 – Lollipop Magazine

Prelude to a Lick – The Editor’s Rant – Column

June 1, 1996

Our THIRD ANNIVERSARY ISSUE. We put it on the cover, wrote long-winded essays about the trials and undulations, and even reprinted some of our best quotes.

From What Really Went On There, We Only Have This Excerpt… – Fiction

June 1, 1996

Scott handed me a few things to review and sent me on my way, inviting me to the next party. Seemed innocent enough.

The Culture Bunker – Beer and Loafing on the Campaign Trail ’96 Part Two: To Be Announced – Fiction

June 1, 1996

The world-renowned Dance Around the Issues. Very simple: Just a bold half-step forward followed by a sheepish retreat and a denial you ever made the first step.

The Beast – Fiction

June 1, 1996

The Beast is dedicated to the proposition that the human race is so profoundly stupid that the only options are to exploit the bovine fodder or succumb to them.

Lollipop – The Wonder Years – Fiction

June 1, 1996

Job: Write a fluffed-up article about The Lollipop Kids, the colorful munchkins of the magazine biz, and the trials and tribulations they’ve experienced.

Three Years and We Still Suck – part 1 of 3

June 1, 1996

Three Year Anniversary, Favorite Excerpts part 1 of 3, issues 1 thru 11.

Dear Editor – Fiction

June 1, 1996

I am a small fat troll of an old lady who enjoys waddling down subway platforms in front of educated, good-looking, productive, and adjective-obsessed young men.

Bewitched – Samantha Stevens, Other Worldly Suffragette – Fiction

June 1, 1996

Samantha could have toppled skyscrapers and Jeannie could have short-fused rockets faster than June Cleaver served Wonder Bread fluffernutters, yet neither did.

100 Years of Lollitude (Give or take 97) – Fiction

June 1, 1996

In June, 1896, Charles Foster Hefflon, an employee of America’s first convenience store, Shoppe 24, accidentally ingested an opium-laced sarsaparilla and had a vision.

Coroner’s Corner – Excuse me, is that my spleen on your shoe? – Column

June 1, 1996

Instead, most of the people I know chose to discuss When Animals Attack, a documentary on real animals that kill everybody. I’m sure there’s a message here.