Nobodys

Short Songs For Short Attention Spans (Hopeless)
by Scott Hefflon

Rude, obnoxious, bare-bones song structure, vocalists that can’t really sing, and songs no longer than two minutes: Punk fuckin’ rock. The Nobodys don’t bother with intros, they just launch into the song. Occasionally, they make it through the main riff before the snotty vocals start, but not usually. They don’t bother with solos, except on “Scarred by Love,” sung by Joe Queer and a few others. Mr. Queer also helped produce the record, giving it an authentically shitty aesthetic similar to recording in a cardboard box.

In true punk spirit, the band complains about people who complain a lot, and repeatedly hate the same things in all the songs. I think that’s called a theme. Also in true punk spirit, they adamantly hate people for nagging them because they have no jobs and no money. I think that’s called being able to see neither side of the argument at the same time. Sound similar to Screeching Weasel’s “Love to Hate” at all? Nobodys’ “Sick of You,” “Nothing Matters,” and “I Don’t Care” are cleverly juxtaposed by the, ahem, sentiments of “I’m So Useless,” “I’m Fucked” and the duet with Joe Queer, “She’s Getting Sick of Me.”

Pick hits are, well, practically all of ’em. “Scarred by Love” would probably be the radio-friendly fave cause it has the whoa-whoas and handclapping formula for punkpop single-dumb. It’s also one of the only songs slow enough to have a recognizable melody. “Almost There” almost sounds like a parody I once heard of Minor Threat’s “Out of Step.” Imagine “I Can’t Keep Up” with an “it” lodged in there and you’ve got the idea. And, of course, “Perfect,” with the question of the ages, “Why can’t all girls be like Taylor Wane?” Punk rock without a moral or any etiquette lessons, just non-stop ranting about how much everyone sucks set to nice, frantic beats. Not as enjoyable as a good blow job, but even at under two minutes each, the 21 songs last longer and don’t bitch at you for smoking while it’s going on.