by Joshua Brown
Although the days are long gone when the man created blizzards in the electric funeral of a madman, let there be no doubt that Ozzy Osbourne is, in fact, a man. Not a deadbeat musical dad, not a burnout, not a wuss. He uses his own particular and peculiar type of osmosis to soak up the present goings-on in the music world, and uses the excess energy he absorbs in the process to make himself even more Ozzy. If he falls behind, he must replenish his Ozzity. (If you’re unclear as to how this works, it all relates to an esoteric theory called Ozzification.).
Anyhow, it was the man’s Ozzmosis capabilities that told him that rock ‘n’ roll was going through its own miniature Dark Age after a period of important breakthroughs that occurred while the man was still in the role of High Priest at a Balck Sabbath. As the dark period is now waning, it paradoxically gives people a chance to begin to be dark again. How else could the Misfits re-create their old sets so successfully? And how else could Ozzy Osbourne release an album in 1996 that rivals his Bark at the Moon, and bites the head off his own Ultimate Sin, No More Tears, and No Rest for the Wicked (recorded proof that, while “the wicked” never rest, they are capable of coasting for a little while)? What Ozzy seems to be doing on Ozzmosis is tying up old loose ends and digesting his own history. So congrats to Ozz for surviving another “musically dark period” and let us hope for his and for our own sakes that the man understands that after this nostalgia kick is over, he’ll have an even rockier road ahead of him than before.