Chemlab

East Side Militia (Fifth Colvmn)
by Scott Hefflon

Ugh, whatta letdown. You’d think after almost three years, Chemlab could come up with something a little more powerful. If they’re to be billed as “tomorrow’s techno terrorists today!” or some such hogwash, you’d guess they’d be a little more, y’know, aggressive than the mid-tempo, pseudo-arty, electronically-enhanced, minimalistic pop rock on East Side Militia. It’s like poorly written Van Hagar. Limp rock with expansive toys used ineffectively does not an electronic pioneer make. It’s like waiting three years to have Trent release a heavy metal record. But even Broken was pretty cool, despite its leaning on tired clichés. It’s like Silt or Guilt, or whatever the hell that Machines of Loving Grace mid-tempo turd was. This makes God Lives Underground sound tough. The oh-so brilliant writing talent of one-spin-off-wonders Filter’s Geno Lenardo shines through in the complete snoozer “Pyromance.” It’s so dull, it almost makes The Crow II Soundtrack sound interesting which, of course, is impossible to do without heavy meditation. Three of the final four tracks (excluding those zany blank tracks almost have a spark of life in them, but that’s probably only in comparison to the beating-the-dead-electric-horse previous tracks. Not a song on this CD stands up to even the not-so-great songs on Burn Out At The Hydrogen Bar. They were younger, more vital, more angry, and much more expressive back then. While a bit more head-bobbin’ industrial metal than they may prefer to be perceived, it sure as shit beats writing new blah-rock with misfiring artsy yearnings.